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Maybe now "day-to-day" won't mean "trip to the DL" in 2009.
Maybe now "day-to-day" won't mean "trip to the DL" in 2009.

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 10/15/2008 from www.nationalsenquirer.com

Somewhere, tears are being shed by Chad Cordero's shoulder, Elijah Dukes' calf, Wily Mo Pena's shoulder, Nick Johnson's wrist, Ryan Zimmerman's shoulder, Ronnie Belliard's finger, and every other "day-to-day" diagnosis that turned into an extended trip to the DL.

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Maybe now "day-to-day" won't mean "trip to the DL" in 2009.

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DMITRI YOUNG CELEBRATES $1.00 HOT DOG NIGHT IN STYLE
DMITRI YOUNG CELEBRATES $1.00 HOT DOG NIGHT IN STYLE

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 9/5/2008 from www.nationalsenquirer.com

Dmitri Young, on rehab assignment with the Vermont Lake Monsters, celebrated a $1.00 Hot Dog Night promotion in style at Centennial field in Burlington, VT last night, going 2-for-3 with a double and RBI. What luck! Who knew the second prong would involve hot dogs?

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DMITRI YOUNG CELEBRATES $1.00 HOT DOG NIGHT IN STYLE

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Spin, etc.
Spin, etc.

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 6/12/2008 from www.nationalsenquirer.com

Well, if Jimbo says it was all just a misunderstanding, it must be true! You gotta love the "explanation" of last night's big dust up on Nationals dot com, from the mouths of "baseball sources". This much we know: Dukes is in the lineup tonight. Does he get drilled in his first or second at bat?

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Spin, etc.

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TROUBLE IN PARADISE: Manny Acta vs. Elijah Dukes
TROUBLE IN PARADISE: Manny Acta vs. Elijah Dukes

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 6/11/2008 from www.nationalsenquirer.com

Manny and Elijah Dukes got into a screaming match (and had to be separated) in the dugout moments after Lastings Milledge's (game winning) eighth-inning HR. Worst of all, Dukes showed up his manager by faking the high-five and dropping his hand as he approached Acta in the post-game celebration on the field. Ugly. So, what the hell happened? Will they kiss and make up???

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TROUBLE IN PARADISE: Manny Acta vs. Elijah Dukes

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ENQUIRER EXCLUSIVE! “ENRAGED” ANGELOS BEATS NATS' MASCOTS
ENQUIRER EXCLUSIVE! “ENRAGED” ANGELOS BEATS NATS' MASCOTS

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 5/16/2008 from www.nationalsenquirer.com

According to sources with no knowledge of the situation, enraged Orioles owner Angelos (reportedly foaming at the mouth) broke up a Nationals promotion yesterday at the Inner Harbor in downtown Baltimore, allegedly "punching and kicking, repeatedly" Nationals' mascot Screech and several Racing Presidents. "He was like a rabid dog," our sources tell us. Angelos unavailable for comment.

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ENQUIRER EXCLUSIVE! “ENRAGED” ANGELOS BEATS NATS' ...

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FLORES PARA LOS METOS!
FLORES PARA LOS METOS!

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 5/15/2008 from www.nationalsenquirer.com

Great "Streetcar Named Desire" reference. Freshly minted WaPo Nats' beat writer Chico Harlan vaults to the lead for "1st Annual Nationals Enquirer Award for Creepiest Opening Paragraph in a Baseball Story (mainstream media)": "Three hours before the Washington Nationals played their 41st game of the season, Manager Manny Acta lathered his head in a rich foam -- a temporary helmet of white.

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FLORES PARA LOS METOS!

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Austin Just in Time
Austin Just in Time

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 5/2/2008 from www.nationalsenquirer.com

Austin Kearns gets a hit, the Nats win, it's a mad mad world!

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Austin Just in Time

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Enquirer Exclusive! "Super Flush" a bust?
Enquirer Exclusive! "Super Flush" a bust?

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 2/24/2008 from www.nationalsenquirer.com

35 Days and Counting until Opening Night! According to sources with no knowledge of the situation, a so-so performance during Operation Super Flush (a stress test of the plumbing at the New Stadium) has led the organization to scrap plans for over 500 urinals and toilets. Plan B? Two port-a-potties (pictured above) "strategically placed" "throughout" the stadium.

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Enquirer Exclusive! "Super Flush" a bust?

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Exclusive Footage of Moss practing his "bend and snap"

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 2/5/2008 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

Look for Tom Brady to jump into the mix too: Somehow NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell didn't manage to destroy this video (too bad?).

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Exclusive Footage of Moss practing his "bend and snap"

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Moss bends and snaps to a loss
Moss bends and snaps to a loss

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 2/4/2008 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

What the heck was with his taunting post-TD? I said he looked like Reece Witherspoon in "Legally Blonde" with the "bend and snap".

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Moss bends and snaps to a loss

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MD get the Gist of winning
MD get the Gist of winning

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 1/20/2008 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

YES!!! How do you spell win? "UNC" it is! And I LOVED all the Tarheel crying after the loss. That was the cherry on top of it all.

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MD get the Gist of winning

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Bowie, Maryland

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 1/16/2008 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

Greivis Vasquez surely wins the "Hamburger Helper" boxscore stuffer award tonight (22pts, 6 boards, 8 assists, 2 steals), but it was Adrian Bowie who was the real difference maker. Nothing that says "WOW!" in his stats, but the power of his performance was the spark he provided in the second half.

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Bowie, Maryland

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Help us now, Jessica Simpson, in our Redskins time of need
Help us now, Jessica Simpson, in our Redskins time of need

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 12/30/2007 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

Dear Jessica, I've never asked you for much, but if you can help me out on this one little issue, it'd sure be super duper. If you and your big ... hair, can please give Mr. Romo a telephone call before the game that'd be great. Or heck, why not even just show up to the game unannounced to wish him well? The Redskins are struggling, so we can really use the help.

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Help us now, Jessica Simpson, in our Redskins time of need

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Lo Blow!
Lo Blow!

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 12/14/2007 from www.nationalsenquirer.com

Lo Duca, HGH, red tape, politicians. It's Nats-tastic!

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Lo Blow!

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Dook suchs

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 12/14/2007 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

Yes Johnny, they do suck. Both at football, and with any attractive women. Needless potshot? Ok, I admit it. There's no need to point out how bad the football team is. But evidently their football team SUCKS. I'll disagree with ESPN and say the "biggest disappointment" was the team, the record, and probably the past 20 years.

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Dook suchs

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ESPN Reviews MD's Football Season

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 12/14/2007 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

And it don't look so hot. The gist? We stunk; injuries played a bit part, but we didn't make the plays and didn't have the skills needed. If there is a QB controversy next season, then shoot me. On the heals of the hoops team losing to the OH-IO Bobcats, well, I'm close to giving up. Oh, and I love Erin Henderson. He gave it all to the team, and he better get something in return from ...

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ESPN Reviews MD's Football Season

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Mark Zuckerman is an idiot

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 12/14/2007 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

"The Washington Nationals, by all accounts, were a significant success in 2007. Young players emerged. Old ones rediscovered their top form. The organization positioned itself well to transition into its new ballpark. " Mark baby, are you KIDDING ME?? They SUCKED!!!

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Mark Zuckerman is an idiot

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Collins comes in, playcalling opens up

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 12/7/2007 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

Wow. Yet it seems that with Collins in the game, Al Saunder (Sub-Chief Advance Pro Temperate of Offensive Considerations, or SCAPTOC) felt more comfortable with the playbook. Either that, or Gibbs fell asleep and an intern started calling the plays. And as Gumbel said with great emotion, for him, this was Collins' "best game of the century". And of the past decade as well.

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Collins comes in, playcalling opens up

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Portis out as well?

ckstevenson ckstevenson posted 12/7/2007 from ckstevenson.blogspot.com

Stomach injury? At least we scored two TDs, our D looks good, and the Bears look inept. And thanks Cris Collinsworth for your general concern for our players, very classy...

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Portis out as well?

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