Mark Cuban to Force Rick Carlisle to Wear Hair Like Popular Pet Detective

In a move of unprecedented stupidity and desperation, Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks has decided to force head coach Rick Carlisle to wear his hair like ‘Ace Ventura: Pet Detective’. “Right now, Rick just doesn’t have the attention of the players, and it’s reflected in our poor record,” said Cuban, while writing the script for the comeback episode of his awful reality show, The Benefactor . “So, I’ve done what any irrational, meddling owner would do, I’ve decided to threaten Rick with his job if he doesn’t do his hair like Ace Ventura. I mean, the guy looks exactly like Jim Carrey.” Coach Carlisle agrees with Cuban’s highly-unorthodox motivational tactic. “It’s pretty simple, really. I’m surprised I didn’t try this in Indiana when I had all those MMA fighters dressed as NBA players on my team”, said Carlisle while trying on Hawaiian shirts with wife beaters underneath in his ... (link)