Message to Plaxico Burress: Buy a Holster

There are certain inevitable truths that humanity must come to embrace: 1) Gravity is a fact, not a theory. 2) The game is called "soccer", not "futbol." 3) Putting mayo on a hamburger is a crime against humanity. 4) NFL players players need to carry handguns for protection. While efforts are being made to implement the first three of these truths into a worldwide understanding, the last on the list is something that NFL players need to come to grips with as much as the fans. On Saturday, Nov. 29, Plaxico Burress shot himself in the thigh at a nightclub after the handgun that he had in the waistband of his pants slipped down the inside of his pants and discharged as he groped around for it. Per the Associated Press: "The incident happened at the Latin Quarter nightclub on Manhattan's East Side on Friday night. "Burress went to the Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan, where he stayed overnight. He was released from the hospital Saturday afternoon. "A league official says the bullet ... (link)