New Oregon Duck Uniforms Introduced! (Humor)

The Oregon Ducks - a fashion leader in Pac-10 football have done it again! They have rolled out new uniforms for 2009. With an endless number of home and away uniform combinations, not even head coach Chip Kelly will know what uniform combination the team will ultimately wear on to field until a few minutes before kickoff. "The precise uniform combination for each home and away game will be sent by secret code from Nike's headquarters to University athletic department officials who have been sworn to secrecy" said an Oregon athletic department official who is not authorized to speak on the subject of Oregon Duck uniforms. From there, highly trained chimpanzees will respond to a series of blinking lights on the code box in the Oregon Ducks locker room. Rewarded with bananas for pushing the right buttons, one of 384 storage lockers will open where each unique uniform combination is stored. The chimps then place a complete uniform in front of each player's locker. "The entire process is shear ... (link)