Plaxico Burress Healthy, Immediately Reinstated By Roger Goodell? (Humor)

In what has become a ludicrious turn of events, former New York Giant wide receiver and recent recipient of target practice Plaxico Burress is back in the National Football League. Burress, who learned an alternate definition to packing heat in a pair of sweat pants early Saturday morning, is also the subject of what appears to be a miraculous healing. Burress met with the training staff at the Giants facility on Tuesday morning, after which there were a number of bewildered doctors wandering about the complex. One doctor was heard asking if anyone else had seen a wound heal that completely within 72 hours of being inflicted; Burress was completely healed and back to normal as though nothing had happened. After receiving treatment and shocking the medical staff, Burress met with Goodell, the NYPD and Giants ownership to arrange what can best be described as a never-before-seen plea agreement with both the NFL and the police. Burress agreed in principle to a deal that voids his current ... (link)