Shaq Episode 1: The Foulout Menace

“Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, “Give me your pies… or I’ll cave in your head.” - Simon, Die Hard: With a Vengeance Kiss your season good-bye fuckers! This team is about to look as bad as my toilet after eating Filibertos all night. Last week marked the beginning of The Big Geriatric’s era with the Phoenix Suns , and what better way to kick it off than with a loss. I honestly can’t think of a better way to say, “Hey, were here to dominate,” than with a pride obliterating, penis kick check mark in the “L” category to your former teammate who had your fatass thrown out of Los Angeles . Aside from the “winning tradition” The Big Colonblow brings to The Valley of the Sun , his leadership was on full display that night as he clocked the fuck out of Raja Bell , knocking him and his whole 0-3 shooting display out of the game. Game two for The Big Fatfuck wasn’t all that much ... (link)