SSNN: Leinart's Multi-Purpose Bong

The sports satire site Serious Sports News Network, the Onion of professional sports, has discovered a new target: Matt Leinart. SSNN decided to spin the Leinart bikini beer-bong fiasco in their most recent post Leinart Claims he Always Drinks out of a Beer Bong. "I don't even own any cups, glasses or mugs. There isn't a single one in my house, so really there’s no choice but to use the bong. Every drop of liquid that I drink goes through that bong. Orange juice, soda, tea, coffee, milk -- everything," Leinart insisted. "It's just so much more efficient. I'm a busy guy, and I don't have much time to sit around and drink my morning coffee, so I just bong it. It's important to let it cool down a little first, though." Hey Dad, no time to enjoy that morning cup of Joe? And you Mom, can't seem to work your protein-shakes into your busy schedule? Then it's time you invest in a beverage-bong! They're not only for hard drinking. Beverage Bongs are a practical tool for the fast-paced working man, or ... [link]