Which of these things are least likely to happen with the Yankees this season?

The Dr. Pepper company has come up with a rather unique way to promote their product. They have announced that if Guns N’ Roses singer Axl Rose ever gets around to releasing his long-awaited album “Chinese Democracy” this year, that they will give one free Dr. Pepper soda to every single person in the U.S. Everybody, that is, but former Guns N’ Roses guitarists Slash and Buckethead! Of course, given that Axl has been working on this album for 17 years, it’s not likely that Dr. Pepper will have to make good on this claim. Anyhow, this got me to thinking about which unlikely events around Yankeeland the soda drink company could sponsor in a similar away. Dr. Pepper ought to offer everybody in America, with the exception of Curt Schilling and Jason Varitek, a soft drink if any of these five Yankee-related events actually occur in 2008: 5) Bobby Abreu bangs up against the right-field wall to make a catch; 4) Shelley Duncan acts quiet and subdued after a Yankee ... (link)