Why The Mets Must Sign Bugs Bunny

There's an old Bugs Bunny cartoon in which Bugs took on the Gashouse Gorillas all by himself.  He played every position, threw an incredible slow ball, and had the speed and agility to scale the Statue of Liberty in order to catch a towering fly ball.  He did this and never got hurt. The Mets need him. While every Mets fan north of the equator applauded the Johan Santana trade, the lack of 1st base and right-handed offensive depth is now the team's biggest problem.  Carlos Delgado, old at 35, seems to break his hip every time he slips while getting out of the tub.  Moises Alou, older at 41, should call his uncle Jesus and ask for a miracle to quickly cure his hernia.  Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez, now 77, is on a waiting list for a right foot transplant.  Ryan Church has a concussion.  Brian Schneider tweaked a hamstring.  Marlon Anderson, who gave Church the concussion, is ailing.  Endy Chavez hasn't played yet.  Carlos Beltran hasn't ... [link]