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Purcey, Purcey Me
 
A distinct sense of inevitability hung over tonight's game. David Purcey has made great strides of late, but remains a little wild and overly reliant on his fastball (so says the smart kid , and those that steal from the smart kid .) That does not sound like recipe for success against the Yankees, scuffling or otherwise. Another shocking turn of events saw the Jays struggle against a ...

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 Fed Considers Interest Rate Cut to Combat Burnett Inflation
Fed Considers Interest Rate Cut to Combat Burnett Inflation
With the United States plunging deeper into recession, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke stated today that he would consider cutting interest rates to combat inflationary factor AJ Burnett. The mercurial starter picked up his 16 win of the season last night, a new career high. Many leading economists see Burnett's 2008 performance as a "contract year mirage" and similar to the subprime ...
Earl Weaver, Renaissance Man
 
If you haven't seen this clip, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It's hardly safe for work, but do you honestly care? You're reading a blog on company time, they can track that shit. Quitting your job passive-aggressively isn't very becoming. Jesse whispered tale of this legend before a recent softball trouncing , but I didn't believe I'd ever hear it. But teh internets came through once ...

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Know Your Enemy: White Tar Edition
 
Adam Lind having popped the clutch on the Blue Jays bandwagon, this week's series against the Bronx Bombers is being billed as a Big One. Perhaps we should gaze into the smoggy depths of Yankeeland and find out what we are getting ourselves into. Bad news for Jays pitching as Hideki Matsui will be coming off the DL for tomorrow's game. Matsui's had success against the Jays, knocking 10 ...

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 Message Received
Message Received
Alex Rio? 5 for 6, and a Major League record tying 4 doubles . Slap-hitting shortstop John MacDonald is now to be referred to as power-stricken 'roid monkey John MacDonald. Photo: Josh Beckett removes the remnants of Adam Lind's treatment from his ...
True Believers
 
The Large Smoke Birds roll into Fenway tonight nine games behind the Red Sox in the Wild Card race. It's been a season of, "they just need to get hot" for the Jays and their every struggling ass offense. Well, it's about that time now. Toronto is currently 62-60 going into tonight's tilt and with only 40 games remaining 27 of them are against either the Red Sox, Rays or Yankees. You gotta ...

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Fridays are for Goodness
 
Lots of good in the baseball world today, none greater than this . My dear friends, this is what we call boner fodder. Grizzled Showdown at the Pink Hat Corral Roy Halladay and Paul Byrd will take their Civil War reenactment society to the big stage, battling at Fenway in front of a full house. The Red Sox still have blood on their hands from pummeling the Rangers in the middle of town ...

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 Questions from girls
Questions from girls
A new semi-regular feature here at GROF HQ will see me, Jesse, your friend and marginal Grofman, fielding a handpicked selection of the several hundred well-meaning and adorably naive questions we receive every month from our vast female readership.
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 David Purcey Makes a Statement
David Purcey Makes a Statement
Loudly and proudly, the big lefty made a bold statement: Lloyd the Barber is an idiot. I, for one, agree. In his (my) defence, Brandon League is awesome. I claim complete ownership over his greatness. I am very much afraid of Gary Sheffield, in both a baseball sense and a public safety sense. Why am I longing for Eckstein? Plus Lloyd takes on Wednesdays with JP!
Show Me the Pink!
 
As you may well have heard, the Jays recalled Jesse Litsch to the big club. Just in time to face the Detroit Tigers. After AJ and his not-so-great-against-the-Tigers numbers finish tonight, the Jays will send David Purcey and the Pink against the big bad Tigers. This does not fill me with a great deal of confidence. Looking a Jesse's splits , we can see that he is the ultimate feast or ...

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Jays defeat Tigers, Stewart packs his shit
 
Fucking right. Shaun Marcum is returning to the form he showed us all before he was sidelined earlier this season. Although I have nothing against him, it's about time that Greg Zaun got on his way. Not only can he not throw the baseball that well, he can't seem to put the barrel of the bat on it either. Barajas looked the part of the starter tonight slamming his tenth dinger of the season, ...

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 Universe Deems My Happiness Impossible
Universe Deems My Happiness Impossible
No sooner had Rocco Baldelli made his triumphant return to the field, driving in runs and diving to and fro with a determined ardor, does Scott Rolen head to the DL with further issues in his bionic left shoulder. What is an ironically detached, wins and losses don't matter, try-hard poseur to do? What's next? Brandon League pitching to contact? Alex Rios walking? I don't ask for much...
The Jays lose, I have a cat...
 
The return of Vernon Wells didn't provide the spark one would hope and the Jays were broomed out of their own park by the central divisions bottom feeding Indians. I suppose if they were going to lose a game it would have been yesterdays. The Jays were the only team Cliff Lee hadn't beaten to date and from what I can tell Lee has been alright this season. Over the three game set with the ...

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 Somebody Get Me a Paper Bag
Somebody Get Me a Paper Bag
Not Pictured: My Throbbing Boner .
Don't You Fuck This Up Cito Gaston
 
Too much, too soon Cito. We were humming along nicely, Adam Lind was slowly climbing the order, getting his at bats without a sudden influx of pressure. But no, Cito, you had to slot him in as your clean-up hitter today. Why Cito? Why? I know that Lyle Overbay's been struggling but still getting on base, and you've been reduced to hitting Brad Wilkerson 7th for christ's sake! Times are ...

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Our Home on Native Land
 
The racist nicknames are in town! The racist nicknames that were supposed to contend until all their big bats fell injured, so they blew out their roster of all expensive talent instead. The racist nicknames that haven't been playing very good baseball for the last two months. The racist nicknames that are looking up at Royals in the standings! Wow. This team isn't so great. And they still ...

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Wouldn't it be Nice
 
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do We could be married (to the post season) And then we'd be happy Wouldn't it be nice You know it seems the more we talk about it It only makes it worse to live without it But let's talk about it Wouldn't it be nice Beating up on the hapless A's is one thing. Looking ...

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 Good For What Ails You
Good For What Ails You
Long weekends, hardcore shows and perspective make a tough season go down more easily.
My Name is BJ Ryan, and I Encourage You to Join Me on the Top Step
 
They're not going to be pretty, let's just hope they continue to be .

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 I Don't Even Know What I Believe Anymore
I Don't Even Know What I Believe Anymore
More to the point, I don't even know what I think anymore. While I appreciate the translation services to improve my understanding of JP's lies, and I can understand where the die-hards are coming from, I'm conflicted. When I read something aimless and critical of JP without reason other than sheer frustration, I get angry. What do you expect him to do? I agree with Geoff Baker , optics are ...

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