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Making the decisions of when to hit-and-run, when to pull a struggling pitcher, and how to construct a lineup aren’t easy, and those decisions are the ones for which MLB managers get paid the big bucks. The actual process of managing, though, isn’t hard. Put nine guys in a lineup in some kind of order. Try to have a pitcher in there somewhere. Make sure the guy who bats ninth in ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Dusty Baker
Cincinnati Reds
If you thought Daryle Ward’s big weekend was going to go unnoticed at Hire Jim Essian , well, you’re just not reading closely enough. In honor of the big lug’s single-handed dismantling of the “Best Team in Baseball,” today is officially Daryle Ward Day at HJE . Daryle has been putting together good at-bats all year, and this weekend it finally paid off. How ...
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MLB
Daryle Ward
Chicago Cubs
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Jim Hendry, you’ve done an awful lot of
dumb things in your tenure as the Chicago Cubs’
general manager. You signed Neifi Perez a couple of times. You thought Shawn Estes belonged in a starting rotation. You traded Kyle Farnsworth right ...
Rick, Rick, Rick.
Look. I understand you’re supposed to write what your editor wants you to write. Actually, I don’t know that at all. I’ve never spent a day at a news desk. Shoot, I’ve never even taken a journalism class. I just know that the common defense for a columnist’s idiotic ham-handed pseudo-hype that passes for a column has always seemed to have ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Rick Ankiel
His legend lives on from St. Louis on down,
Though he liked to have sex with a collie.
The Padres had said, “His career isn’t dead,
“He can play center field, though it’s roomy.”
Before trades they could explore, he struck out twenty-four,
Times, and his power numbers were empty.
With his dog, he got nude, ‘cuz cats are such prudes,
Though he ...
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MLB
Jim Edmonds
Kosuke Fukudome
Chicago Cubs
San Diego Padres
St. Louis Cardinals
My, oh, my. I thought you guys were upset about your team. After watching their team lose six games in a row, Brewers fans are jumping off the highest building in Milwaukee (eight stories). The lactose-intolerant among them are eating all of their requisite six meals a day at Culver’s. They’re hiding under the cushions of Prince Fielder’s couch. They’re going hunting ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Lou Piniella
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Bad Kermit
posted 4 days ago from
hirejimessian.com
Cubs fans declare Photoshop war on the Brenneman
boys.
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Oh, hello. What’s that? You want me to
back up my claim that tHom Brenneman and Chris
Welch may or may not be child pornographers? Why should I? tHom and Chris weren’t forced to back up their completely ludicrous implication Monday night ...
There seem to be quite a few fans out there who relish the opportunity to write the season off after a particularly odious stretch of play by the Cubs. The once-great Desipio GameCasts have been dragged down in the most embarrassing manner by the petulant toy-throwing exhibited by fans who, in spite of the fact that they’ve presumably subjected themselves to several 162-game seasons, ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Well, Carol Slezak, congratulations. You’re up in arms once again, bitching and moaning about the White Sox for putting inflatable sex dolls in their locker room . Let me repeat that, Carol. IN THEIR LOCKER ROOM. Far be it from me to defend the White Sox for anything, but Slezak has about as much right to complain about what the Sox do in their locker room as I do to complain about the ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Chicago White Sox
It’s a bit pathetic that the mainstream media made a far bigger deal about the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia’s tirade last week than they have about the 10th anniversary of one of the greatest MLB games ever pitched . Enjoy reliving Kid K’s masterpiece and hating Kevin Orie just one more time.
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Kerry Wood
Ronny Cedeno needs more playing time. Seriously. Why in the hell is Mike Fontenot doing anything but playing bass guitar with Animal behind him on the drums? Attention, Lou: MIKE FONTENOT SUCKS . He’s not good in the field. He’s not good at the plate. He sucks at bass guitar. For God’s sake, Lou, the Cubs have kept Ronny Cedeno on the 40-man roster for years, and he’s ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Mike Fontenot
Ronny Cedeno
Holy hell. I can’t wait until the weekend for this one. One of our readers (I’d give full credit, but I don’t know if he wants me using his name) found this outstanding picture of Rich Hill. This has Photoshop written all over it. If you haven’t noticed, below the comment entry box, there should now be a link that lets you insert an image into a post. That should work. ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Rich Hill
Lovable Loser! Single, 132-y.o. NL team seeks number two pitcher to supplement fiery Hispanic starting pitcher. Team has good offense, scoring six runs per game, thirty-one games into the season, up from 4.64 runs per game last year. Team has only been shut out once this season! Offense not a problem for the first time in years! Starting pitching needs work, though.
Team currently has a ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
In honor of the Cubs’ weekend series against the idiot rednecks, why not Photoshop the most famous “Best Fan in Baseball”? Go get him.
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
St. Louis Cardinals
One guy has been dead for nearly twenty years. The other guy is Redd Foxx.
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post’s poll.
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MLB
Kosuke Fukudome
Chad Moeller
Chicago Cubs
It turns out Chad Fox has not yet died, and is now on the Cubs’ 25-man roster . Kevin Hart and his “cutter of death” 5.06 ERA were sent down to Iowa.
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MLB
Kevin Hart
Chicago Cubs
Chad Moeller
God damnit. God damnit. God damnit. You ever have one of those days when every button you push is the wrong one? You ever have an outfielder who you want to punch in the back of the head ? You ever want to round up the media , put them on a bus, light the bus on fire, and push the bus off a cliff? I should not have gotten out of bed yesterday. Let Trammell run the damn team. Anyhow, ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Lou Piniella
The nice thing about being reminded of Lee Elia’s tirade this year is that it marks 25 years, and 25 has always been a good, round hearty slice of time to dissect. A 17-10 record to start the season is rarified air for the Cubs, when you take into account this past quarter-century.
I went to BB-Ref and ran a quick look at the last 25 Aprils (and in the case of the 2000 season, the ...
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MLB
Chicago Cubs
Is it true? Could it be? Is Carrie paying attention to my constant complaints that she always picks questions from Cubs fans located in remote geographical regions? This week’s Mailbag doesn’t have a single question from Alaska, Tennessee, or the nucleus of a uranium atom. What gives? Lucky for us, there are plenty of stupid people in the Midwest, asking plenty of stupid ...
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!