Hire Jim Essian Latest Blog Posts |
Add as Favorite
Claim Blog |
http://hirejimessian.com/ - __________________________________
hirejimessian.com - 10 hours ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
If there’s one thing Jim Hendry is terrific
at doing is bidding against himself for the services
of his target free agents and then grossly overpaying for them. As Dolan already pointed out , Hendry did it again with this week’s signing of John Grabow. I have nothing against Grabow. ...
(more)
Friday Night Fukudome: Grabow vs. Remlinger
Comments
vote down
Bad Kermit
posted 10 hours agoposted this
hirejimessian.com - 18 hours ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
As our good friend Paul Sullivan pointed out
in his Twitter feed , we’re finally down an
Aaron (Heilman), and have only Miles left to purge. (HT: Luis) If I didn’t think Jim Hendry was going to trade Aramis, Marmol, Lee, Zambrano, and Lilly for Curtis Granderson, I might actually ...
(more)
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Aaron, Go, Brah” ...
hirejimessian.com - 3 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
You are in for quite a treat, loyal
Muskboxers. I am pretty certain that this week’s Muskbox
contains the most long-winded narrative answer to ever pour from the bun-based pencil of Carrie herself. I’ve been reading that the Tigers are putting Curtis Granderson on the trade ...
(more)
The Muskbox Has Delusions of Grandeur(son)
hirejimessian.com - 7 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
Oh, good to see you nerds. I figured
everyone on the planet, including Chad Ochocinco , is
playing Modern Warfare 2. When he’s not Tweeting two hundred times a day. Thanks as always for the tips . How many times do you think Hef will get asked, “Do the Bunnies come with the ...
(more)
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “You’re Probably ...
hirejimessian.com - 8 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
There are mysteries which men can only guess
at, which age by age they may solve only
in part. -Bram Stoker, Dracula Readers, what I am about to reveal my alarm you and offend your sense. It may chill your heart and shock you to your very core. But it is a tale that must be told. A tale ...
(more)
Sammy Sosa is in Your Nightmares, Craving Your Blood
hirejimessian.com - 9 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
On this Veterans Day, I’d like to take
the opportunity to thank all of our brave men
and women working so hard right now to defend this great country. I’m pretty sure I always screw this up by forgetting someone (if I do, tell me in the comments, and I’ll add you, I swear), ...
(more)
Happy Veterans Day
hirejimessian.com - 10 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
In this week’s Muskbox , we speculate on
Jeff Samardzija’s sexual perversions, we give Reed Johnson the
Mark DeRosa treatment, we torment Ed Hartig, and we RUIN WRIGLEY FIELD! What happened to Jeff Samardzija to allow Thomas Diamond to take his spot in Mexico? Is Samardzija ...
(more)
Samardzija Crushed During Donkey Show in Tijuana? Only ...
hirejimessian.com - 14 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
The offseason has officially begun. As we wait
in fear of how Jim Hendry can make the
2010 version of the Cubs worse than the 2009 version, White Sox fans are likely doing the same. Kenny Williams has taken an early lead on head-scratching moves, officially trading for Mark Teahen today. So, ...
(more)
Friday Night Fukudome: Hendry vs. Williams
hirejimessian.com - 14 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
Joe Girardi has always been a weird-looking dude.
But until the folks at Halos Heaven pointed it
out, I didn’t realize how much he looks like Skeletor . Apparently, he used whatever the opposite of power of Greyskull is (the power of Snake Mountain?) on his way home from winning the ...
(more)
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “I Thought ...
hirejimessian.com - 15 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
Oh, Cubs. You’re so collectively dumb. The pervasive
organizational stupidity of this franchise is more consistent than
Mariano Rivera. As you’ve probably already heard, Ted Lilly had arthroscopic surgery on his shoulder, and will miss the beginning of the season . In Cubs speak, ...
(more)
Lilly Gets His “Murderin’ Arm” Fixed
hirejimessian.com - 17 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
Did anyone catch the pregame show before World
Series Game 5 last night? Jorge Posada was being
interviewed, and he said, “It’s been since 2000 since we won the World Series, so I think the fans have waited long enough.” Fuck you. With that, here’s this week’s ...
(more)
The Muskbox Doesn’t Realize the Rickettses Want to Stack ...
hirejimessian.com - 21 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
If you watched the press conference announcing the
new Cub family ownership this afternoon, you might have
noticed something a little strange about the Ricketts family. That something is that THEY ALL LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE. So, let’s put two of them into the Fukudome. VS. ...
(more)
Friday Night Fukudome: Ricketts vs. Ricketts
hirejimessian.com - 21 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
Happy Halloween, guys and ghouls. Ha ha ha!
Seriously though, ghouls, do us all a favor and
dress like sluts tomorrow. There’s nothing scarier than Mark McGwire’s pockmarks, so I assume you’ve had your fill of terror for this week. But I hope you all have a safe and happy ...
(more)
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Scarier Than ...
hirejimessian.com - 22 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
Congratulations to Tom Ricketts for finally getting control
of the Cubs . In honor of his new
Cub ownership, I have prepared a trailer for the program I expect him to institute prior to the 2010 season. So, without further ado… Coming soon to a theater near you… Lou Piniella ...
(more)
The Man Who Screams at Goats
hirejimessian.com - 22 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
I don’t have too much interest in the
World Series this year. The Phillies were just in
it last year, and it feels like the Yankees are always in it, even when they aren’t. But I will be tuning in to Game Two of the World Series tonight. Long time Yankee nemesis Pedro Martinez is ...
(more)
Tonight Is Must-Watch Baseball
hirejimessian.com - 24 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
We live in an unstable world. Each day,
we walk out our front doors not knowing what
the day has in store for us. Will our car die on the way to work? We will make it to work without avoiding an accident? If we make it to work safely, will our job still be there? But even in this time of ...
(more)
Somehow, The Muskbox Gets Worse
hirejimessian.com - 25 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
Just when I thought the St. Louis Cardinals
couldn’t stick anything else in their asses, they surprised
me by bringing back amnesiac Mark McGwire as Albert Pujols’ “vitamins” supplier the Cardinals’ hitting coach. It would by hypocritical of me to say too much ...
(more)
He’s Baaaaaaaacne!
hirejimessian.com - 28 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
Ooo! A late-night Friday Night Fukudome! Why? Because
we’re discussing the issues of hitting coaches who just
so happened to be around when their pupils turned into roided-up freaks. CONTROVERSIAL! Put the kids to bed, then come back and satisfy your bloodlust as our two competitors fight ...
(more)
Friday Night Fukudome: Jaramillo vs. Pentland
hirejimessian.com - 28 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
It’s looking pretty inevitable that the Yankees are
going to be the American League representative in this
year’s World Series. That means it would be a Phillies-Yankees matchup. Could it be any more boring than that? We just saw Philly win the World Series, and I’m sick of ...
(more)
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “World Series That ...
hirejimessian.com - 29 days ago
—
hirejimessian.com —
Yesterday, FORMER GENERAL MANAGER OF THE NEW YORK
METS Steve Phillips was suspended for a week (HT:
Ethan) from the Brett Favre fellatatorium ESPN because he went hogging with a bat - shit - criminally - insane cave troll. In Steve’s defense, he’s always had a thing for people ...
(more)
Former GM of Mets Could Be Former Employee of ESPN


















