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moving day
 

Published 14 hours ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Quick note to let you guys know that MVN will be down from around 9 am Saturday to 6 am Tuesday (eastern time zone, I think). They’re moving us to shiny new places with shiny new formats. Hopefully everything will be pretty and functional once we get there. So do not panic! Roar of the Tigers shall return after the holiday weekend. If you do not understand the panda, please refer ...

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Justinefficient Verlander
 

Published 2 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Oh you just knew it was only a matter of time before that title was typed. Justin Verlander! He’s so inefficient that the batting cage pitching machine throws fewer pitches! Justin Verlander! He’s so inefficient that major airlines offer him advice on how to improve! Justin Verlander! He’s so inefficient that runaway evolutionary sexual selection has reached a dead end ...

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insert bad joke about sloppy baseball here
 

Published 3 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Sigh. I don’t even have the heart to crack a properly uncomfortable joke about this one. I hate errors, I really do. Not that I think Chris Lambert would have been A-OK without the errors in this one; he was falling apart pretty hard in the third, and back-to-back homers to start the inning had nothing to do with the fielding behind him. But giving up six runs in your first big league ...

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the return of the tigerfly
 

Published 4 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Because Tigers are dropping like flies. Again. Obviously this has been going on in fits and starts all season, but let’s just look at the recent damage, shall we? The River Thames missed several games last week with a sore shoulder, then came back and didn’t hit for much power until tonight, when he cranked a solo shot. He pulled up lame while rounding the bases on an unrelated ...

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Miner wins, Kenny loses, but aren’t we really all losing at this point?
 

Published 5 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Eh, mixed weekend. Zach Miner was wicked good on Saturday, and Kenny Rogers was wicked bad on Sunday. We took the series, which is something, I guess. Does it even matter anymore? We’re not going to be playing in October. Ehhhh. The Lions season is starting dangerously soon, which is coloring everything a terrible shade of Mauve Malaise for me right now, and this might be affecting my ...

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Miguel Cabrera carries a bat so big, not even Fernando can ruin the game.
 

Published 7 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

I was thisclose to being forced to use the Fernandooooooooo!!! screaming tiger to head up this post. Seriously: thisclose. On some level I still can’t believe that I’m NOT using the Fernandoooooooo!!! screaming tiger. T’was the bottom of the 9th. The score had gone from 4-1 Tigers to 4-3 (all thanks to Fernando, natch). David DeJesus on third, The Anonymous Jason Smith ...

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nom nom nom: Nate Robertson overfeeds his gopher
 

Published 9 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

How appropriate that I already had this image of Nate Robertson feeding his gopher. Let’s face it, Nate is terrible. I could temper that with a ‘right now’ tacked onto it, but I’m not feeling particularly charitable tonight. I know it was the Rangers and they can hit, blah blah, Ranger Park at Arlington blah blah bandbox blah blah hitter’s park blah blah blah. ...

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Tigers win like yesterday, only more so.
 

Published 10 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Mmm, victory. Sweet, tasty victory. The Tigers have been taking an odd approach to Ranger pitching: nap through the first half of the game, then wake up and realize they’re facing Ranger pitching in the second half. I don’t know what’s wrong with staying awake for the whole 9 innings, but I guess it’s late in the season and everyone’s basically just a bunch of ...

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Tigers score late, Farnsworth nearly erases all, blogger suffers greatly
 

Published 11 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

A win is a win. A win is a win. I must repeat that, over and over, before I can even begin to think about this game. Scott Feldman held the Tigers scoreless for 6 innings. That’s the first point of disgust and horror, right there. This is the very same Scott Feldman who gave up 10 runs in under an inning against the Red Sox in his last start. I get that the Red Sox in Fenway can be, ...

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Melvin Mora should be banned from Comerica
 

Published 12 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Melvin Mora is a danger to the people of Detroit. He stomps kittens under his heels and crushes public property with his mighty fists. He breathes fire at the slightest provocation. He terrorizes the locals. Melvin Mora must be stopped. Today Melvin Mora went 5-for-6 with 4 runs scored and 6 RBI. He hit two doubles and two homeruns. Over the course of this three-game series he went ...

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Tigers vomit all over Comerica, call it baseball.
 

Published 14 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

I AM SO GLAD THAT TODD JONES IS BACK WITH THE TEAM!! 0.2 innings pitched, 3 hits, 3 walks, 0 strikeouts, 5 runs (3 earned) Three errors on the night! MAJESTIC! Eight of Baltimore’s 14 hits went for extra bases! Three of Detroit’s 11 hits went for extra bases! POWER IS NOT JUST THE THING THAT MAKES THE BIG LIGHTS TURN ON WHEN IT GETS DARK OUT, GUYS. Nine walks for the ...

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Arrrrmando gets justice, Blue Jays get tasty series sweep snack snatched from their cruel avian beaks
 

Published 15 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Thank cats. Thank cats the Tigers managed to pull this one out. I know that Arrrrmando got a win the last time he pitched, but I didn’t see that game, so my most recent memory of him pitching was this scream-worthy bullpenplosion . I am not sure I could have remained sane if I had had to watch the team find ANOTHER fun and inventive way to screw him over. This time out Arrrrmando ...

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Paws offers a quick lesson in Jays
 

Published 16 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Hey guys! It’s PAWS! Roar of the Tigers asked me to come here today to give an apparently much-needed lesson in TELLING DIFFERENT BLUE JAYS APART. It can be tough stuff sometimes, I know, but if you guys just pay close attention here, you should be able to learn how to do it just as well as the experts do!! Wow-ee!! OK! Are you guys ready? Here we go!! First we have, on the left ...

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Joel Zumaya is back on the DL, contemplating subscription to “Permanent DL Living” magazine
 

Published 16 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Yes, you read that correctly: Joel Zumaya is on the DL. Again. It’s his shoulder . Again. At least this time it’s just vaguely ’sore’ and not ‘immediately requiring surgery’, although that’s just for now. I really wish I could say that I’m surprised by this, but I’m not. Less than 10 days ago I said this: “Slightly above the triceps” ...

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that word does not mean what Gary Sheffield thinks it means
 

Published 17 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

I think I finally understand Gary Sheffield’s particular, current brand of crazy. It started with the fabulous “steroids is something you stick in your butt” quote and Sheff’s unwillingness to believe the actual definition of what steroids are. This time we got started off by a Boston Globe article where, among many other things crazy and potentially inflammatory, ...

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Tigers salvage a tiny shred of dignity
 

Published 22 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

It’s not a huge honkin’ load of dignity. It’s not much at all. But it’s a little tiny shred, and it’s more than we had yesterday, so what the hell, let’s celebrate it. Zach Miner had a quality start! Six innings! One earned run! Three Ks! ZERO walks! Second-lowest ERA for a starting Tiger pitcher! Third-lowest WHIP for a starting Tiger pitcher! Woo, woo, ...

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Justin Verlander can see the tendonitis coming a mile away.
 

Published 23 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

I’m so glad that we wasted Verlander’s arm on that pathetic loss of a game. And I do mean WASTED, as in, “Dude, you totally WASTED that squirrel with your front bumper!” Hey, what’s 130 pitches between friends, right? So what if it was the most pitches he’s thrown in a single game in his major league career? So what if he’s a pitcher WHO’S HAD ...

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I HATE NICK SWISHER

aceofsports aceofsports posted 23 days ago from mvn.com

A wonderfully epic rant about how much Samara of hates Nick Swisher. I'm pretty sure every non-White Sox fan can agree.

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I HATE NICK SWISHER

pug marks, 8/4/08
 

Published 25 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Offday, offday, hooray. THE BULLPEN CAN’T HURT US WHEN THEY AREN’T PLAYING. We haven’t had a pug marks post in a while, have we? I guess things have just been THAT EXCITING in the world of the Detroit Tigers. pug mark 1 Leyland ripped into the team before Sunday’s game . He is “ashamed,” “[taking] it personally,” “more than ...

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aarrrggh bullpen arrrrgggh
 

Published 26 days ago by Samara Pearlstein at Roar of the Tigers

Poor Armando. He did not deserve that outcome, not after the kind of game he pitched today. I think the image pretty clearly illustrates anything else I have to say on the matter.

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