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We know, we know: Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt is super-mega-ultra fast. Like lightning, they say. He's a lightning Bolt. You know this, we know this, the world knows this. Good. But does the NFL know this? Or, to put it another way, does Bolt know that his speed could be a huge weapon on a football field? We don't know if the kid can catch (or knows what football is, for that matter), ...
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NFL
Chad Johnson
We, the model citizens of appropriateness and good judgment, would never ever take note of a female athlete’s body or the clothing that accentuates it. Not us. You must be thinking of someone else. Lots of perverts out there. That’s why we have not even remotely noticed that many of the Olympic events showcase scantily-clad athletes. Women, namely. Scantily-clad women. We like women. Track, ...
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Olympics
We’ve hardly touched on the Olympics around here the past couple of weeks, but that’s not to say we haven’t been watching them. We’ve tuned in nearly every night, and, for the most part, have enjoyed what we’ve seen. The coverage, however, has detracted from the overall experience, and the following observations hopefully support that claim. The time difference is a nuisance – China is a ...
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Olympics
Perhaps the funniest thing we ever heard was a game created by a friend called "Six Degrees of Boner." It'd work like this: Zach goes to Bach goes to Boch goes to Bonh goes to Boner. It's so funny because it makes little sense and you're trying to get to the word boner, which is inherently hilarious. But really, that sort of game is necessary when talking about Kyle Orton. He turns women ...
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NFL
Kyle Orton
The name J.T. O'Sullivan isn't thrown around too much among NFL fans. Unless you enjoy talking about former presidents of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity. The soon-to-be 29-year-old is a journeyman, having spent time with nine NFL teams and having played in NFL Europe. (Did we mention he was the president of the Phi Delts? That frat got kicked off our school's campus a few years back. Good ...
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NFL
J.T. O'Sullivan
San Francisco 49ers
Why we might: The easy answer: She likes men. The more in-depth answer: Definitely a shocker, but Doris Burke is not a lesbian. She might have " experimented " in college, which then translated into having girlfriends and liking women and not liking men and reading Little Women and listening to Alanis Morissette . But truth is, Doris Burke is married. To a man. His name is Gregg. She ...
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NCAA Basketball
Doris Burke
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Adam "Pacman" Jones is infamous for making it
rain in the strip clubs. Now that old grumpy-pants
Goodell won't let him play that way anymore, he's decided to take matters into his own hands, and Make it Rain for charity. Roger Goodell has not ...
Welcome to "The Best," a new series from the people who brought you "Would You Do," "Blogger Interviews" and "What Really Grinds My Gears." It's just what it sounds like: what's the best ______? "Best" is such a subjective word and that's really the point -- let's get you guys talking! If this works, there will be intelligent, thoughtful debate on the day's topic. And if it doesn't work, ...
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NCAA Football
Things are much different around here in the summer. We're often taking mini-vacations, going on camping trips and aren't at a computer eight hours a day. We're disconnected to say the least. Our posts are often less timely and our reading list is shrunk down to just about nothing. Many other people are like this, too, as traffic numbers across the blog world are down this time of the year. ...
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Other
It's bee a while since my last update , and sadly, things haven't gotten much better. You'd think that you'd naturally come out of a phase like that, where every time you sit down on the toilet, the biggest mystery is which leg will fall asleep first. While the shitting hasn't improved, things have changed a bit. I've gotten in this mode -- usually like three days a week -- where I take one ...
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Other
We haven't had a book review in a while, but we were sent a nice, quick read and got to it over the weekend. Max Deale's "Sold Out So What!" is a guide to getting better deals on tickets to sports events that we all enjoy going to. It's a fun, comprehensive, resourceful book to help us beat fucking scalpers, beat the ticket brokers and even give us some nice suggestions how to upgrade from ...
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Other
Why we might: The easy answer: Southern belle. The more in-depth answer: She's hot and just about every men's magazine out there has helped to justify that. According to her Wikipedia page , she was voted the sexiest sportscaster by Playboy in 2001. Maxim ranked her No. 48 on the Maxim Hot 100 Women of 2002 and FHM put her No. 70 on the FHM 100 Sexiest Women of 2003. So after you bang ...
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NCAA Football
Georgia Bulldogs
That, as you're well aware, is The Colosseum in Rome, where they no longer host sporting events, but is the first real athletic stadium known to man. They also used to have death matches there (fine, gladiatorial contests) to which people cheered. Savage, those Romans. Not only is it a monument to sport, it also has a great name: The Colosseum . Such a nice ring to it. It just sounds good. ...
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MLB
... So Beijing meteorologists are lending her a helping hand. Smart scientists, those Chinese. Controlling the weather. Seems they'll do their damndest to prevent it from raining for the opening ceremonies of the Olympics Friday night. Eager to ensure rain comes before -- not during -- the Olympics, the Beijing Weather Modification Office plans to seed the clouds that float by beforehand, ...
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NBA
Yao Ming
We'll guess that photo's from 2005. Could be 2004. Doesn't matter much. It's Baltimore quarterback Kyle Boller in a familiar position: getting pummeled by an opposing player and fumbling. We know there's no ball in that photo, but rest assured, it's probably on the ground in the hands of another San Diego Charger. Boller is pretty good for that. Incomplete passes and interceptions, too. ...
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NFL
Baltimore Ravens
Kyle Boller
New England Patriots
King's Cup might be the best drinking game out there. Everyone has their own version, there's ample drinking and sometimes -- on a few lucky occasions -- hot chicks end up naked. One of the best "games" in King's Cup is Categories, which often is represented by the Jack card. In Categories, the person who draws the card says a category (fast food joints, baseball stadiums, etc.) and ...
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NFL
Indianapolis Colts
That is to say he shoves instead of punches. Manny Parra probably said he was going to have eggs and bacon for breakfast in the morning. Freakin' vegans.
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MLB
Manny Parra
Prince Fielder
That image you see, go ahead. Click it. Then pause. And realize that a major sports Internet site just wrote a front-page headline and dedicated space to a story about a man's fucking mustache . Good. Bet writing that article wasn't humiliating for the AP writer who likely thought to himself afterward that it's better than covering a city council meeting. But, hey, an athlete's facial hair ...
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Other
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Unsolved Mysteries was one of those TV shows
that you had no interest watching, but somehow you
ended up glued to Lifetime, longing for more Robert Stack. Many sports figures haven't had the sad fates of some of the cases on Unsolved Mysteries, but ...
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MLB
Why we might: The easy answer: ? The more in-depth answer: Ugh, hmm. Well, we can't really think of one, so we'll leave you with lyrics to a song we like: Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no, no. Why we might not: The easy answer: Might be in to women who could kick our ass. The more in-depth answer: Pam Ward just wouldn't like us. It's not ...
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Adam Jones to "Make it Rain" for charity