April baseball summary: Fred Lewis is better than Bonds, Emil Brown is (for now) better than Swisher

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Breaking News: Kouzmanoff Better Than Ruth!
Published 5/1/2008 by Junior at FIRE JOE MORGAN
We've come so far, baseball writers. You're citing OPS occasionally, you're learning that wins and losses for pitchers aren't all they're cracked up to be, you're even acknowledging the dubious worth of small sample sizes. It makes me proud, like a mama city raccoon watching her baby eat its first piece of leftover Taco Bell. So please, when you're doing the last of these three things, don't merely pay lip service to sample size and then leap to ridiculous conclusions, like Mr. Timothy Kawakami did today: ...