Off-Field Fleeces: Matsui Joining Pie with “Unique” Injury
MLB FLEECE FACTOR: Providing MLB rumors and deciding who gets FLEECED. —
... with an injury of the unique, and painful variety. According to the Houston Chronicle, Matusi will miss roughly 4-5 days. He apparently has an “anal fissure”, or a tear of the anal skin. Between Matsui’s “anal fissure” and Pie’s “testicle torsion”, I sit here and report these stories in pain. Best wishes to you, too, Kaz. ...
Matsui Out With Private Injury
Spring Training '08 —
Kaz Matsui will miss four to five days with an anal fissure. Houston Chronicle
Texans fans: The Giants luv you! {hugs}
DGDB&D: a Texans blog. —
... Finally, and a little off-topic, but it looks like the Stros’ Kaz Matsui has a little pain in the ass. This is ironic, of course, because watching him play this year will cause pain to all our asses. ...
Kaz Matsui's Official Diagnosis: Anal Fissures
FanHouse —
... which, on the scale of unnecessary disclosures, ranks somewhere up there with the details of a soon-to-be-former New York governor's paid-sex preferences. The hemorrhoids were bad enough. So let's take it a step further! Today the Houston Chronicle (via ...
Kaz Matsui Of Houston, TX Wants To Know, “What Happened To Patient/Doctor Confidentiality”?
Can't Stop The Bleeding —
From the Houston Chronicle’s Joseph Durate :
Astros second baseman Kaz Matsui is expected to miss four or five days after being diagnosed with a condition known as anal fissure.
Matsui, who returned to central Florida on Monday night, will go through individual workouts at the team facility but will not play until at least Friday. Doctors have prescribed a different medication to help alleviate the problem.
The Star reports Armando Benitez is taking his 289 career saves and unusually squeaky voice to the ...
Your Afternoon Bathroom Injury Update [Ouch]
Deadspin —
... First up, Manchester United midfielder Darren Fletcher bashed himself in the head with a bathroom door.
Said the staffer, "It seems that there was something seriously wrong with the toilet door. I don't know if fittings had come loose or what - but when Darren went to open the door, it came away and clobbered him. It was a nasty wound but it could have been worse."
But Kaz Matsui has him beat; he's gonna miss 4-5 days because of anal fissures. Yikes, bonzai.
Darren Fletcher Gets Attacked By A Bathroom Door [FanIQ] ...
Spring Injuries: Beckett Out, Rangers’ Rotation
Comments on: Fantasy —
... Speaking of baseball players and health problems related to their backsides (a sentence we don’t have the pleasure of writing very often here at Seamless): ...
Kaz Matsui Will See Felix Pie’s Testicular Surgery, and Raise Him a Nasty Case of Anal Fissures
The Big Lead —
... . If you’re wondering how the mainstream media covered this, here’s all the Houston Chronicle had: “Astros second baseman Kaz Matsui is expected to miss four or five days after being diagnosed with a condition known as anal fissure. Matsui, who returned to central Florida on Monday night, will go through individual workouts at the team facility but will not play until at least Friday. Doctors have prescribed a different medication to help alleviate the problem.” ...
Let me talk to you about anal fissures
Diamond Hoggers —
... Recently Kaz Matsui of the Houston Astros found himself disabled with a very personal injury. ...
Kaz Matsui’s Latest Injury A Real Pain In The A**
SPORTSbyBROOKS —
The latest injury to befall Kaz Matsui is a real pain in the butt - literally . ( Kaz readies himself for a check-up ) The HOUSTON CHRONICLE reports that the Astros’ 2nd baseman will be out four to five days after being diagnosed with an “anal fissure”. Wait, a what ? Well, according to ...
What in the name of Anal Fissure is going on out there!?!?
The FynalCut —
... Then, just one day later, we get news from down South (sorry, had to) that Astros’ second baseman Kaz Matsui will miss some time due to an injury that, literally, sounds painful. Anal fissure. Just say it out loud to yourself, “Anal. Fissure.” Eeesh. (Hope nobody just heard you say that) ...
A Large Regular — Kaz's Anal Fissure Bad news for Astros fans: Astros second baseman Kaz Matsui is expected to miss four or five days after being diagnosed with a condition known as anal fissure.An anal fissure is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. Not even Jay S. you prick! (Sorry I take that back - Jay S. deserves eternal anal fissures.) I must admit that as soon as I hear the words "anal fissure" - I thought of this.
Off-Field Fleeces: Matsui Joining Pie with “Unique” Injury
MLB FLEECE FACTOR: Providing MLB rumors and deciding who gets FLEECED. —
... with an injury of the unique, and painful variety. According to the Houston Chronicle, Matusi will miss roughly 4-5 days. He apparently has an “anal fissure”, or a tear of the anal skin. Between Matsui’s “anal fissure” and Pie’s “testicle torsion”, I sit here and report these stories in pain. Best wishes to you, too, Kaz. ...
Please Pass the Spear
The Off-Color Commentator —
... Why is this funny? Because butt injuries are funny. It's why we laughed earlier this year when we learned that Kaz Matsui had an anal fissure. It is also why we google image'd "anal fissure," and then promptly vomited. ...
Morning Juice: Royals set fire to Wood, barbecue Indians in 9th
Big League Stew —
... to report that another
player has stolen home. Kaz Matsui swiped the plate in the first during
a double-steal-rundown thingie the Brewers messed up. Good to see
Matsui recovered from his (whispering voice) anal fissures
of a season ago. ... We interrupt these anal fissures to report that
relief pitcher ...
