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Bibliotech: Bill Walton Reviews "God Save the Fan"

Spotlight Series posted 2/13/2008 from ballhype.com

Welcome to the BallHype Spotlight Series, Volume 2: Bibilotech, a series of essays about books. In this edition, the illustrious Bill Walton reviews God Save the Fan by Will Leitch of Deadspin. Enjoy.

There are few things on this planet better than the feeling of curling up under the stars with a sleeping bag and a good book. The scent of warmed papyrus takes me back to a day when my comrades on this great journey we call life would sit on the lawn in Berkeley and read poetry concocted from emotions pulled from the deepest reaches of our souls. When ESPN asked me to compose a review of Will Leitch's God Save the Fan , I leapt at the opportunity with zest and vigor.

The heft of Leitch's book reminds me of my 1967 hardback edition of the Tibetan Canon; the volume carries not just the physical weight of paper and ink, but of the mass of a population of believers. Leitch, it is clear, is not speaking for himself or for his friends. He is speaking for an entire generation in the way Jerry Garcia spoke for the children of the 1960s and Descartes spoke for those so lucky to live during the European Enlightenment. Like Descartes, Leitch advises the reader -- the sports fan -- to peer into his own mind in order to validate or rationalize what he sees on the field of battle. In fact, as we sit here, it has been exactly some 396 years since Descartes earned his law license, a heady reminder to the world of sports fans earning their license to cheer today.

Many reviews of the book focus on the specific episodes Leitch discusses in his book -- the vignette about Robert Traylor's pride and joy, in particular, is the pre-eminent genitalia story in the history of written word. There it is, Tractor Traylor's epic, gigantoid member thrashing about like a swordfish on the deck of a vessel in the Sea of Cortez. Leitch spins rich stories you will not find elsewhere, and pulls no punches.

However, Leitch's book also brings to light the most despicable thing I have heard in a decade: The firing of my close friend Harold Reynolds for alleged sexual harassment. I have not seen Harold at the daily chess club in ESPN's Bristol cafeteria in about a year, but I had NO IDEA he'd been fired. This is terrible, easily the most nefarious thing I have ever heard. Harold is a gentle, compassionate man filled with the noble qualities you'd hope to instill in your son or pet chinchilla. Furthermore, Harold Reynolds would never eat in a Boston Market. I can assure you 110% Harold Reynolds is a devout vegan; he promised me this on a van journey we took together from Omaha to the Anza-Borrego Desert once. What a long, strange trip that was. I will never forget, Harold. I will never forget.

John Wooden once said, "It isn't what you do, but how you do it." In this book, Will Leitch does write about things regarding sport and the world of fandom. He beacons a call to arms for fans all over the universe, asks his friends to rise up and take back what is theirs. Like Coach Wooden, Leitch inspires his followers. I talked to Coach Wooden last night, and he agreed Leitch has adapted Coach Wooden's Pyramid of Success well for his own work with Deadspin.

As an industrious and enthusiastic group, Leitch and his army of bloggers have succeeded in defining their own rules and their own success, much as we did at UCLA, when we won 88 consecutive games. With Coach Wooden as our poised and confident leader, we were able to achieve competitive greatness. Likewise, the blogosphere -- filled with buckets of self-control, skill and sincerity -- is well on its way to knocking off the traditional media from its perch high atop the mountain of power. Knock them off, bloggers. Knock them off.

Wait... am I in the traditional media? Umm.

I take it back! This book is terrible. Will Leitch is an abomination of a man; his book is a travesty of monumental proportions. DO. NOT. READ. THIS. BOOK.

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