Fightin' Words: Best. Sports Blog. Ever?

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Fightin' Words: Best. Sports Blog. Ever? Links3
Spotlight Series Spotlight Series posted 4/29/2008 from BallHype Featured Story
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PostmanE and PostmanR are the almost identically pseudonymed dudes that blog at We Are the Postmen, FanHouse, Inside the Hall, Y! Sports Blogs, ESPN The Magazine and, now, for BallHype. In the second edition of Fightin' Words, they settle the one settleable argument: Best. Sports blog. Ever. Enjoy.
 
 
 
PostmanE: R and I spend a lot of time arguing about sports blogs -- we like them, if you couldn't tell from the intro -- so we decided to bandy some names back and forth in the hopes of crowning, once and for all, the champion of the blogs. Top prize wins absolutely nothing of value, either materially or emotionally.

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PostmanR: When E and I first came up with this idea, it was pretty clear where this conversation would start and end: Deadspin. After all, it is the alpha and omega of sports blogs. Though certainly not the first of its kind, it was arguably the sports blogosphere's tipping point. The site's mass success -- which continues to grow -- opened the floodgates for countless amounts of sports fans to stand up and proclaim: "Hey, I can do this too!" Because that's who we are: a sports fan. Have we told you about the time we once saw Robert "Tractor" Traylor's flaccid penis after our Illini took on Michigan while we were covering the team for both the Daily Illini and the St-Louis Post Dispatch? It was in the locker room. It was that day we vowed never to return to the press box; a life of covering athletes in such a degrading and hollow way was sure to leave our life (lives?) in utter shambles.

After a gig at The Sporting News, we did not work in sports for many years. In fact, we would never have a real job in sports. All sportswriters are miserable, fat and lazy. We have said this before and we will say it again. But did we mention we not only run a sports blog that involves writing a gaggle -- we love this word, gaggle -- of posts a day, receives countless e-mails and chews up more hours of the day then the typical sports columnist we once wanted to be ... but that we also wrote a book about sports?

Have we confused you? We think we've confused ourselves.

E: Of course, any time you mention Deadspin, you have to mention the man who steered that site's weekend and liveblogging responsibilities during its infancy and, who is now doing big things at Yahoo! I mean, there are funny bloggers out there, really funny guys ... but I don't know if you can create a list of the best bloggers and sports blogs and not include MJD. I'm sure plenty of the guys typing out there have sufficient claims to this ... I am positive of it. But I am not positive that you can't include MJD among the best bloggers in the entire world ... if not the universe.

Leaving MJD out of a blog discussion is like leaving Joey Porter out of a discussion about the merits of psychological treatment in our country. You could do it if you wanted to ... but I certainly wouldn't.

R: How about Michael David Smith of FanHouse? I think he is good because he writes a lot about a variety of topics. He writes for a lot of places too. MDS' strength is that he wakes up early, goes to the gym, drinks his coffee and then is good for a long day of blogging. He also types fast.

Although he is prolific and well known, is he the best? I think he might be.

E: OMG!!!!!! I don't see how you could create a list of Bloggers and leave out Awful Announcing?!?. If there is a video about Sports that needs to be captured, he is there with his TV tuner card in a Flash. He is also an intelligent and thorough, if often strangely punctuated, critic of Media and Blogs.........

He loves Gus Johnson and is a fan of Bill Raftery but it's hard to say if he really enjoys too many other people's work ............. besides, of course, Pam Ward. He Loves Pam Ward!!!!!!!!!!!! And Erin Andrews!!!!!!!!!!!

R: Whatever. MDS sucks. Awful Announcing sucks. All these blogs suck. There is only one champion in Blogfrica: Kissing Suzy Fuckin Kolber. We are not the most informative or enlightening, but fuck that shit, we like dick jokes and lots of them. And we're fucking funny. And crazy. Did we mention that we're crazy? WHOOOOO WE ARE FUCKING CRAZY! Yaaaa bettter asssssk somebooddy!

/dick joke
/dick joke
/dick joke

E: GET IN THE SUNSHINE

Attempting to describe the Dionysian indulgence that is Free Darko is not a job for mere mortals; ideally, it would require a blogger with LeBron's sudden world-change, Gilbert's quirk, and Bean Thousand's refined calculation. (BLOGGING IS NOT JAZZ.) Still, forgive me while I stab at the night with this rusty shiv.
 

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Free Darko is quintessential to any modern fan's appreciation of the loose association we to which we pledge ourselves anew each day. It's not an easy choke; Shoals' ever-changing execution of the site requires the reader to constantly beg for his own forgiveness, and leave himself ready for a forcible self-examination. Conquer these heights, though, and salvation awaits in the form of the most brilliantly self-aware basketball rocks to ever wash clean on this mixed metaphor's shores. Breathe it, or my name isn't monster.

R: That's all well and good, but what about the blog that best covers the important side of sports: the arrests, the viral videos, the WAGS, the cheerleaders, the strippers. Yes, I'm talking about With Leather. Oh cool, there was a hockey game or something on last night. Great. But did you see these NSFW photos of Cristiano Ronaldo's new girlfriend? Or did you hear the one about the high school baseball coach grabbing sophomore girls in the locker room?

I once passed out at a strip club and woke up to five naked strippers tearing at my clothes. Don't call me a hero. It's what happens eight days a week. I'm just that good looking.

E: Seriously, get a load of this:

All these work, but what about the blog that covers the important side of sports: the arrests, the viral videos, the WAGS, the cheerleaders, the strippers.

This can't possibly be true. We know what the "important side of sports" is: high fives. How many times have you high-fived someone today? Have you done so in public? On anything resembling a field? Did you high-five something -- a cat, your couch, yourself -- after typing that sentence? Then you can't possibly mean what you just wrote.

Yes, I'm talking about With Leather.

Oh, so that's why we're here. You mean it's to discuss blogs? I was unaware of that. I thought we were just here to blatantly imitate blogs we admire while failing to actually argue their merits. Didn't we abandon all pretense of discussion in favor of this gimmick long ago?

Oh cool, there was a hockey game or something on last night.

Yes. Yes there was. What were we talking about again?

Great.

Not really. Still confused.

But did you see these NSFW photos of Cristiano Ronaldo's new girlfriend?

Yes. Those were great. Not quite as great as, say, the routine brilliance of the people behind Fire Joe Morgan, whose seemingly endless wit and brutal style makes them an engaging read no matter the topic. Not quite as great as discovering at least one of those people also works for a universally loved television show. Not quite as great as the pathetic self-indulgent pleasure of watching David Eckstein grittily, heartily, Ecksteinily throw a baseball to first base with roughly the same velocity as a 12-year-old. Not quite as great as Bill Fremp's chat-masking abilities.

But still: pretty great.

I once passed out at a strip club and woke up to five naked strippers pulling my clothes off me. Don't call me a hero; it's what happens eight days a week. I'm just that good looking.

Not to burst your bubble there, Casapernicus, but your math is a little off. There aren't actually eight days in a week. That's almost as bad as using batting average to discuss hitting, or wins to discuss to the Cy Young.

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E: Well, what a day it's been for blog argument! Who's secretly rooting for The Big Lead here, even though we have no chance? Wait a second -- where are we? Is this Ballhype? The place with the rankings, right? How do we stand, anyway? (Sorry. We don't read other blogs, even though we're a blogger. Did you guys hear the latest about the housing crisis? Here's hoping Moody's bails you out of that mortgage-backed security we're currently pretending to know anything about ...)

Anyway, a reader passed along this photo (we hadn't heard of this Google pictures search; anyone want to enlighten us?) of Kim Kardashian. For our money, she was way more money before she became so money, money. Money.

Tom Brady's new haircut -- story or not?

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Comments (12)

  • jamiemottram jamiemottram
    +6
    Bravo, Postmen. Enjoyed that greatly.
    Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • PostmanE PostmanE
    +6
    So everyone knows, if you weren't included, it's not because we don't think you're an awesome sports blogger. Well, maybe, but more likely it's just that we tried to co-opt your style for like half an hour and then gave up. (Cough *Mr. Irrelevant* cough.)
    Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
    • jamiemottram jamiemottram
      +5

      You could've just monkeyed my brother by writing angry.

      For real though, excellent work. The Big Lead and Free Darko portions almost killed me. 

      Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • TheHype TheHype
    +4
    Ooh ooh, now do CSTB! And then Robin Williams!
    Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • JCN JCN
    +6
    Well done, especially IS NOT JAZZ.
    Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • rwbrinso rwbrinso
    +5

    1st person > 3rd person > 1st person was impressive.

    -1 for tipping point though. Blame Simmons. 

    Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • PostmanR PostmanR
    +7
    My faves were all the ones E did.
    Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • ethanator1088 ethanator1088
    +4

    Great job E and R

    How could anyone judge which postman did the best job?

    Can you tell me that you love the ocean but not the waves?

    Can you tell me you love the rainbow but not the rain?

    Such are the Postmen. :-)

    Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • chone chone
    +9

    YOU CANT BE SERIOUS HOW DO YOU TALK BLOGS WITHOUT MENTIONING FANHOUSE! obviously since barack obama is brainwashing you with his Muslom preacher your leaveing that out; and WHY DONT YOU MENTION BELICHCIK STEALING SIGNALS YOU AND MDS ARE both ON THE PATRIOTS PAYROLL.

    FREEDARKO is too complicate for me too understand...

    /Comment in the style of Fanhouse

    Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • Chris Mottram Chris Mottram
    +5

    The only issue I have with your TBL impression is that you actually formed real questions.

    For example: "Sorry. We don't read other blogs, even though we're a blogger," could've been: "Sorry. We don't read other blogs, even though we're a blogger?" 

    Posted 4/29/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • We Rite Goode We Rite Goode
    +3
    Genius.
    Posted 4/30/2008 [reply] [flag]
  • Dark Lotus92 Dark Lotus92
    +2
    idc about any of that, but that girl is super hot
    Posted 5/8/2008 [reply] [flag]

Links (3)

Programming Alert: We’ve written the latest Fightin’ Words for Ballhype, go read it
Published 4/29/2008 by PostmanR at The Postmen // A Sports Blog // Chicago, IL.
Thanks to Ziller for extending the invitation. Took us way too long to finally turn it it, but we’re excited about the finished product. We argued for the best sports blog. Or maybe we didn’t? Maybe it’s something completely different masked in a discussion of what blog is tops? Go read it and (hopefully) enjoy.

High Five
Published 4/29/2008 by Fornelli at Foul Balls
... ] The Postmen argue over the greatest sports blog in the world. Actually, they don't argue at all, they love each other too much. [ Ballhype ]

Links of the Day 4/30/08
Published 4/30/2008 by Ryan at The Victoria Times
... last night. I didn't get to see it, unfortunately. Also, if you read several other blogs, this was a pretty cool piece on Ballhype by the Postmen. The Tigers got off to such a rough start this season that ...

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