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ICHIRO IS STRANGE
With Leather - Sports news and gossip, panda sex, and the occasional Toonces the driving cat Photoshop — ... has a feature article on one of the two redeeming pieces of the Seattle Mariners organization, Ichiro Suzuki.  Ichiro has been known to offer the occasional strange quote that somehow feels lost in translation, but as the USS Mariner points out, some of these really stand out:

Ichiro Says Funny Things
FanHouse — ... feature, the 33-year old Ichiro talks about everything from his future in Seattle to his dream of becoming a 40-year old pitcher, but what caught my eye were his thoughts on steroids and female bowlers. On performance-enhancing drugs: "When you take steroids, it's not as if wings grow out of your back, and you start flying all over the place and stealing home runs (from hitters). The word 'cheating' doesn't apply for me regarding steroids." Tiger Woods' athleticism: "Tiger is a great golfer, but ... when you say athlete, I think of Carl Lewis. When you talk about (golfers or race-car drivers), I don't want to see them run. It's the same if you were to meet a beautiful girl and go bowling. If she's an ugly bowler, you are going to be disappointed." Huh? I've read the quote about the ugly bowler about 20 times and I still can't figure it out. But I love it. Someone should really give Ichiro and Yao Ming their own talk show. It would be wonderfully confusing entertainment. (Via:

Ichiro: 'Once I Turn 40, I Can Become A Pitcher.'
FanHouse — ... and an excellent Mariners blog, USS Mariner , I was alerted to this

Don’t feed the Marti
Future Redbirds — ...  machine. ...