Koolaid Maroney Wants U To Wash U Ass

Links (25)

LAURENCE MARONEY IS AN AMERICAN HERO
Published 6/22/2007 at With Leather
... The gentlemen at Kissing Suzy Kolber dug up Patriots running back Laurence "Koolaid" Maroney's Facebook page, and you must look at the post immediately, if not sooner.  Yes, his nickname is Koolaid.  And yes, he is wearing a gold chain with the Kool-Aid man on it.  Even better, Koolaid offers us these nuggets of wisdom in his Favorite Quotes section: ...

We're Not Sure That's Really A Koolaid Necklace But Who Cares: Another Reason To Have Him On Your Fantasy Team
Published 6/22/2007 at Deadspin
... The man here is Patriots running back Lawrence Maroney, and Kissing Suzy Kolber has discovered that his Facebook page is not to be underestimated. ...

Randy Moss Has a Friend in Maroney
Published 6/22/2007 by Chieftain at THE WIN COLUMN
... http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2007/06/koolaid-maroney-wants-u-to-wash-u-ass.html ...

Apparently, the Internet allows you to link: Lawrence Maroney rocks
Published 6/22/2007 by PostmanE at The Postmen // A Sports Blog // Chicago, IL.
... Lawrence Maroney is everything one could hope for, and more. Big thanks to Facebook, everyone’s favorite pastime/stalking tool, for making this happen. {KSK} ...

High Five
Published 6/22/2007 by PANGER at Foul Balls
... ] Laurence "Koolaid" Maroney on Facebook. This is one Fornelli would have hit out of the park. Oh, yeah! [ Kissing Suzy Kolber ] A 16-year-old girl weds her 40-year-old track coach. Her mother and father, who signed the consent forms , said they had no choice. I smell a Parent of the Year nomination! Wait, that's not what I'm smelling. [ ...

Blurbs and Links: Part Tres
Published 6/23/2007 by dswinder at Untitled[.]
... Maroney don't chase hoes...He chase dat cheese (Kissing Suzy ...

Ass Washing: Maybe There's A Reason Laurence Maroney Wants You To Wash U Ass
Published 6/23/2007 at Deadspin
... items from yesterday at KSK and ...

Laurence ‘Kool-Aid’ Maroney to break out in 2007
Published 6/25/2007 by Brent at The Patriot Act
... , appears to have his own myface blog picked up by Kissing Suzy Kolver and ...

6.25 Link Dump
Published 6/25/2007 by Mitch Cumstein at stain club
--Lawrence Mauroney as Kool Aid on Facebook ...

Steve Danley...not quite the next Paul Shirley
Published 6/27/2007 by Doctor Dribbles at We Rite Goode
... . And for the most part, I don't want to stop these guys from following their yen. After all, they're the ones making bloggers' dreams come true. ...

Eric Gagne: Not fergilicious
Published 8/13/2007 by Dan Lamothe, Red Sox Monster at Red Sox Monster - MassLive.com
... , his appearance proved to be the beginning of Boston's unraveling in a game that left them just four games ahead of the New York Yankees in the American League East. Much like that word " construda ," I'm not quite sure what "fergilicious" means -- especially since the word was created by Fergie, a whackjob entertainer who was probably beautiful... at one point. One thing that seems safe to say, though: When Fergie was thinking the deep thoughts and writing the lyrics to 'Fergilicious," she was not thinking of either Eric Gagne or his lame-so-far-in-Boston pitching. Camden Yards crew, well played.

Why the Patriots Will Be Better Than the Steelers in 2007
Published 8/22/2007 by mondesishouse at Mondesishouse.com
... - Laurence “Kool-Aid” Maroney will assume the bulk of the carries this year with Corey Dillon gone. Dillon outdid Maroney in carries (199-175), yards (812-745) and touchdowns (13-6), but looked like a shell of himself compared to the previous two years in New England. The unsigned 32-year-old could probably still be useful in a limited role, but better to let someone like him go too early instead of too late. Backups Kevin Faulk and Heath Evans have found a niche in New England, and Sammy Morris comes over from Miami. Other than Dillon’s 1600 yards in 2004, this could be the most effective Patriots running game since the Curtis Martin years. Although an abundance of construda may be to the Patriots’ advantage, that’s cancelled out in the “blog memes about running backs” category thanks to the presence of Najeh “Where’s the manure?” Davenport. ...

An Apology to Kissing Suzy Kolber
Published 8/31/2007 by CarlSpackler at perkisabeast.com Blog
... . Nonetheless, there has been an ongoing internet phenomenon regarding New England Patriot Laurence Maroney and his supposed Facebook site, almost all of the phenomena focused on the word “construda”. ...

Five Things To Watch: Patriots
Published 9/7/2007 by Bassett at thejetsblog.com
... Oh Yeah! – Laurence “Kool-Aid” Maroney is going to stop kissing guys on their cheek from behind (yikes … awk-ward!!!) and is going to be asked to shoulder the load for the Patriots running game without clock killin’ Corey Dillon around any more. With a revamped passing game, Maroney could move into a Stephen Jackson-esque role in the next few years (as long as he can stay healthy). ...

Turner Field: Dirty South
Published 9/17/2007 by Hugging Harold Reynolds at Hugging Harold Reynolds
... Listen to Koolaid, kids.

More gold from Laurence Maroney's Facebook profile
Published 10/22/2007 by NDub at Construda
... and discovered there's been some changes. Gone are the auspicious quotes about ass washing, beagles, chasing cheese and construda. Maroney has instead elected to quote former teammate Daniel Graham about the inordinate amount of Peyton Manning commercials. The quote is not funny and doesn't hold a candle to the Maroney quotes of Facebook past, so we're not posting it. But at least Maroney ...

Top Offensive Free Agents: A Mid-Season Report Card
Published 10/31/2007 by Cecilio's Scribe at The Legend of Cecilio Guante
... Those of you know me are aware of how much this Pats-fest pains me. After a full season in Miami where he rushed 92 times for 400 yards and a touchdown, Morris came to Miami to be an occasional spell for Kool-Aid Maroney. But, alas, "Praise, Jesus! The miracle-worker Bill Belichick and the healing waters of New England hath saved and rejuvenated him!" But, seriously, 85 carries for 385 and four touchdowns through eight games? 4.5/carry as the feature back? You've got to be kidding me. ...

"Pretty Boy" Floyd Makes It Rain
Published 12/28/2007 by BDoc at The Sports Oasis
The newest installment of Cribs heads to Dallas to check out how Floyd Mayweather lives. He lets us know that Ramen Noodles are his favorite food, and that it doesn't matter how crazy your shower is as long as you "wash u ass". He also makes it rain. At least it's not in a strip club! ...

The lesser of two evils
Published 12/29/2007 by Fat Willard at Hugging Harold Reynolds
... It's going to be fantastic television to have Kool-Aid warning any potential undefeated teams not to call him when dey in his hood, but call him when dey in his crib. WASH YOU ASS! ...

AFC Championship: First Half [I Prefer The Lobster Burrito]
Published 1/20/2008 by Unsilent Majority at Deadspin
... pick up a first down. That's followed up with a big run around the left side by Kevin Faulk. End of First Quarter -Beer me that beer. Second Quarter -The Pats go jumbo on 35d and short and Maroney converts in a big way. On the next play Faulk takes a dump-off down inside the one. -TOUCHDOWN, LAURENCE MARONEY. Nice and easy behind the fullback and right guard. New England 7 - 3 San Diego -Give that man some Kool-Aid and a washcloth! -Marmalard's moving his men right back down the field on the ...

Laurence Maroney And His Wad
Published 1/21/2008 by Awful Announcing- at Awful Announcing
Post game interviews are fun aren't they? Here's Pats RB Laurence Maroney talking about how "he ain't never been to no Super Bowl" but not getting too excited.... I don't know if blowing his wad has anything to do with "construda" or Kool Aid, but I'd like to know.

PERFECT FOR KICKING THROUGH WALLS
Published 1/31/2008 at With Leather
... Laurence Maroney is known for several things in the choppy high seas of blogs: the nickname "Kool-Aid," his potent supply of construda and therefore being the only member of the New England Patriots not entirely deserving of your contempt. ...

I will be Drinking Samuel Adams Boston Lager
Published 2/3/2008 by The Inevitable Muck-up at Some People's Kids
... strips the Patriots of their last couple of Superbowls. Pats win 31-28 when Adam Vinatieri Stephen Gostkowski kicks a last second field goal. Lawrence Maroney wins MVP, not by actually being chosen but by snatching it from Tom Brady’s hands during the post game ceremony and stiff-arming every mutha fucka that tries to take it back. U begul shitting Uself if U think he’s giving that thing back. ...

A league in need of nicknames: The AFC East
Published 3/18/2008 at Shutdown Corner
... → Koolaid Maroney. Again, as with Beast Mode, this one already exists, as discovered on Maroney's incredible Facebook page (naughty language advisory).  ...

Casey Rabach is guilty of conduct detrimental to the team
Published 18 days ago at Shutdown Corner
... becomes the first quarterback to take snaps wearing rubber gloves and a surgical mask. Shape up, Rabach. It's time to take Laurence Maroney's advice (naughty language alert). ...