Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

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Nationals Park Makes the Big Time
Published 5/8/2008 by Presidents Race at Presidents Race: Let Teddy Win!
... Today’s recommended reading: The lead story on The Onion sports page reports that “an 8,976-foot foul ball off the bat of Washington third baseman Ryan Zimmerman crashed through the U.S. Capitol Building rotunda.” ...

Onion: Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda
Published 5/9/2008 at BBTF's Baseball Primer Newsblog
Onion: Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda Ain’t no use joking Everything is broken According to eyewitnesses in the Capitol, the ball smashed into the dome at about 3:35 p.m., tore through the Apotheosis Of Washington—a 150-year-old, 4,664-square-foot fresco painted on the inside of the rotunda—and broke the arm off of a National Statuary Hall sculpture of William Jennings Bryan. The ball then bounced into the Senate Chamber, where it interrupted a vote on a $542.5 billion defense authorization bill, and landed directly in the mashed ...

The Onion Still Relevant and Hilarious; Writes Brilliant Satire
Published 5/9/2008 by Matt Brown at Bugs & Cranks
Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Smashes Capitol Rotunda The statement went on to demand that the Nationals pay for all the damages, which total over $400 million—more than five times the entire team payroll. Because of this, players are expected to either find part-time jobs to cover the cost or work off the expenses by taking positions as congressional aides in the offseason. The Pirates have promised to chip in $5, claiming that is all they have right now.