PENTHOUSE Gametime: Q+A with WIZARDS and USMNT defender Jimmy Conrad

Jimmy Conrad makes an ideal ambassador for Major League Soccer on multiple levels: He’s funny, he’s media savvy, and he’s been with the league for all but three of its 13 years.  Beyond that, Conrad is emblematic of MLS – like the league, he started out underappreciated and overlooked, but has gradually forced people to take notice.  MLS began relatively humbly in 1996, and now boasts a ten-year, $150 million sponsorship agreement with Adidas, $20 million a year in TV deals, and the most famous player on the planet, David Beckham.  Conrad went undrafted out of UCLA, and now he’s an MLS All-Star, a perennial contender for Defender of the Year, and a mainstay on the U.S. national team.  He’s a prime example of how MLS can be a platform for U.S. soccer players to thrive and prove their class.

Conrad took a break from training to talk about the upcoming season, World Cup qualifying, and his personal soundtrack for the badass moments of his everyday life.

I have two weeks to kick up my heels and think about the season, and then I start preparing for the next one.  Two weeks off, then I started lifting and running again.  And yeah, the body – you can feel it sometimes.  But you have to do it because during the season you lose a lot of your strength and some weight.  So the off-season is crucial for restoring that.

A better understanding of how our league works, and what it means to play real, regular-season games in the summertime here in the States.  It’s hot and some games are on Sports Turf, and it’s not always ideal conditions.  It’s going to be an eye-opener for him in terms of how grueling it is, not to mention the travel.

Right.  A lot of fans fail to realize, when they compare MLS to leagues overseas, how much traveling we do.  That, and the surfaces we play on, as well as the heat – it doesn’t compare with anywhere else in the world.

I think it’s great.  Last year was the best year the league has ever had in terms of foreign acquisitions.  There were the big-name guys, but there were also guys you hadn’t heard of like Juan Toja and Pablo Richetti in Dallas.  Juan Pablo Angel in New York has been a steal.  And obviously, David Beckham’s impact on the league was huge – he got people talking about us.  We were a water-cooler topic.

I thought [2007 expansion team] Toronto was great.  It’s just amazing up there.  All of the players I talked to told me they feel like professionals.  There are Toronto jerseys in the stores, people recognize them on the streets, and they’re in the paper every day.

Jozy Altidore.  His physical presence – especially at such a young age [18] – it’s pretty impressive.  He’s strong and fast, and he’s willing to listen because he wants to get better.  If the league can keep him, I suggest they do.  But it’s going to be hard, because he’s got quite a bit of talent.

I’m a little biased because I’m in Kansas City, but I think St. Louis would be a great market.  It’s a great soccer town.  I think they’d go out and support it.  What our league needs more than ever is rivalries.  And since Kansas City is only about three hours from St. Louis, it would provide us with a rival.

[Laughs] Yeah, I am.  I think that stuff’s great.  The fact that somebody would take the time to pee in a ziplock bag and try to throw it at me…You know, it’s quite an honor.

Yeah, it really is.  That stuff is great.  It’s part of how it all works.  It’s hard for those countries to qualify, so they try to do everything they can to get the advantage.  In Guatemala last year, they had people outside the hotel playing music and calling our rooms in the middle of the night.  It’s part of the gamesmanship, and I enjoy the whole process.

Oh, no.

[Laughs]  I think it’s called “Mr. Big Stuff.” I don’t know who it’s by, but it goes [singing] “Who do you think you are – Mr. Big Stuff.”

That’s the one.  For sure.  Not even a doubt in my mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lockjaw: Conrad broke his jaw in both the 2006 and 2007 MLS seasons.  It’s not a streak he’d like to continue, but it did make him an expert on living life with your jaw wired shut.

First thing, you have to get your blender out and make sure it’s ready to go.  Then you stock up on Ensure, protein shakes, tomato soup, and yogurt.

Talking is pretty clamped.  It’s clenched teeth and trying to make it happen, but Ths ss how it cms ot, lk ths.  Put it this way: I wasn’t on the phone all that much.  I was kind of an e-mail guy at that point.

Your breath gets terrible because you can’t get a toothbrush in there.  I tried to mouthwash as much as I could, but all the junk would kind of stick around.  It got pretty nasty by the end of the six weeks.

originally published in the April 2008 issue of PENTHOUSE http://www.penthouse.com