Email Story
The Bill Simmons NBA Draft Diary Drinking Game
tziller posted 6/27/2007 from ballhype.com
You're right -- you don't need an excuse to get hammered on a Friday morning. But I like to plan and organize my benders. Thus, the Bill Simmons NBA Draft Diary Drinking Game -- the most self-injurious way to enjoy The Sports Guy's annual NBA draft running diary.
Read it over, prepare yourself. We're assuming The Sports Guy's annual treatise will arrive Friday morning. But if you'd like to play along during the draft and imagine you were reading the diary, that'd work.
Enjoy.
The Sports Guy mentions the Texans passing up Reggie Bush. Take a drink.
'Tremendous upside potential': If the term first appears before the 1st pick is made, finish your drink. If the term first appears between the 1st and the 5th picks, take a swig. If the term first appears between the 5th and 14th picks, pour one out and let our boy The Sports Guy R.I.P.
The Sports Guy references Jumaine Jones' green room saga. Take a drink.
The VP of Common Sense makes an appearance. Take a sip.
Stu Scott is unintelligible, implies The Sports Guy. Take a drink.
Ronald Jenkees. (Shudder.) Take a shot.
Jeff Green good. Spencer Hawes bad. Take a sip.
The Sports Guy references Curtis Borchardt, Chris Mihm, Chris Kaman, and/or Raef Lafrentz when Spencer Hawes gets picked. Take a drink.
Did you know The Sports Guy won't be renewing his Clippers season tickets? If you didn't, now you do. Take a drink.
Father of The Sports Guy is discouraged by the Celtics pick. Take a drink.
"Did you know Chris Wallace was the GM in Boston previously? And get this, he stunk!" Take a drink.
Rick Pitino bad. Take a drink.
Atlanta makes a pick. Take a drink. (Note: This has nothing to do with the running diary. It's just good form to take a drink when Billy Knight is making an important decision. It's what Hawks fans do.)
The Sports Guy sarcastically praises Danny Ainge, Wyc Grousbeck, and/or Doc Rivers. Take a drink.
The Sports Guy's dog Dooze does something hilarious which presciently foretells some draft prospect's future. Take a drink.
Hubie Brown gets a shout, despite being nowhere near the premises. Take a drink.
Jay Bilas or Dick Vitale are shocked Joakim Noah slipped so far, and they would like to personally admonish the decision-makers who made it happen. Take a drink.
Father of The Sports Guy is confused by a statement by Stephen A. Smith or Stu Scott. Take a sip.
Oh no! ESPN.com editors are sending 10,000 watts through The Sports Guy due to some potentially unsavory copy. Take a shot.
The Sports Guy directly or indirectly compares the commissioner to Vito Corleone. Take a swig.
David Stern earns the 'Vito Corleone rep' due to a particularly painful shiv in the direction of a commentator. The Sports Guy notices. Take a gulp.
The Sports Guy ridicules ESPN's choice of "unhip" on-air music while toggling through songs by The Killers and The Bravery in his iTunes library. Take two sips.
The Sports Guy prematurely announces his retirement from doing draft running diaries. Roll your eyes and take a drink.
The Sports Guy gets a jab in at Sports Illustrated. Take a drink.
The Sports Guy gets a jab in at bloggers. Take a drink.
The Sports Guy links to "a hilarious YouTube clip." Take a drink.
Uh oh, The Sports Guy might need a divorce lawyer. :-( Take a shot.
"I'm an idiot." Finish your drink.
