The Florida Marlins Are Looking For Fat Dudes [Manatees]

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Marlins Looking For Manatees
Published 2/18/2008 by Anthony De Rosa at Hot Foot
Deadspin shares this call for ‘Manatees’ by the Marlins PR department. Oof. As if it isn’t hard enough to pull in a crowd at that stadium, now they’re subjecting fans to this? I take back everything I ever said about the Mets PR department, stealing Sweet Caroline is a pimple compared to this. Share This

The Few, the Proud, the Obese: Introducing the Florida Marlins Dancers!
Published 2/18/2008 by Josh Alper at FanHouse
... of their seats. Auditions will be held to find a few big men for the Marlins Manatees, the first-ever dance/energy squad in Major League Baseball at Dolphin Stadium on February 24, 2008 at 1 p.m. for the 2008 season. The move is not only sure to boost attendance at the stadium but will probably also have a positive effect on concession sales. What a glorious time to be a Marlin fan! First a new stadium and now baseball's inaugral dance/energy squad. (H/T Deadspin)   Permalink | Email this |  ...

Earth-Shaking News
Published 2/19/2008 by photi at Fish Chunks
I'm not sure if the inauguration of the new 'Marlins Manatees' 'dance' team was mandated somewhere in the fine print of the new stadium agreement, or else is something the Commissioners will use to cancel the whole deal. Either way it has already made an impression... (AOLSports)...(Deadspin)

Calling All Fat Dudes
Published 2/19/2008 by Steve Hulkower at Bugs & Cranks
... a choreographed routine How exactly is this supposed to work? The Marlins can’t get fans to go to the games, but they expect to find a bunch of fat guys who want to embarrass themselves during home games. This job better come with a mask and free access to the buffet. I don’t really know who’s excited about the upcoming Marlin Manatees performances but it’s sure to be one of the reasons youtube was invented. Kudos to Deadspin for breaking this. We didn’t even know the Marlins ...

Picture Quiz
Published 2/19/2008 by Chris Needham at Capitol Punishment
Who is the man on the left? 1) General Manager and Vice President of the Washington Nationals, Jim Bowden? 2) The first participant in the Washington Nationals Foundation's "Help The Homeless" program? 3) Talent Scout for the Florida Marlins Male Dance Team ? 4) A confused old man with a bad toupee wondering why the line at Denny's is so long? 5) The love child of Vito Spatafore and Captain Kangaroo?

MARLINS DISCOVER USE FOR FAT PEOPLE
Published 2/19/2008 at With Leather - Sports news and gossip for your impressionable young children
... And just where do the Marlins plan on getting these "thousands" of fans?  Are the Manatees going to dance at away games or something? But no, I'm really happy for all those talented endomorphs.  Fat people need to get out and form more dance teams and prove to their skinny superiors that they have more uses than just turning oxygen into carbon dioxide.  And if they have a heart attack in the process, well, that's good for a laugh, too. [Deadspin] 

That's Why They Play The Games: '08 NL East
Published 2/25/2008 by Rob Iracane at Walkoff Walk
... spent no time in AAA and had just 24 games with the Tigers last year. He's a crapshoot: he'll either end up Rookie of the Year or slumped over the bar at Prive. No number one guy in the rotation. For that matter, no number two guy or number three guy. You've got a bunch of fours, and Andrew Miller. At least Girardi's not around anymore to run Miller's arm into the ground. Loria, Loria, Loria. Predictions: 75 wins, 20 fat dudes, and a three-quarters of a billion dollar name change to the Miami Marlins. ...

Monday Rundown: Hideki Matsui Is Rather Creepy
Published 3/31/2008 by Anthony Hall at MVN Outsider
Have a submission for MVN Outsider’s daily link dump? Send us an email at outsider@mvn.com. So, remember the Marlin Manatees? The Florida Marlins’ cheerleading squad comprised of fat dudes? Well, as Deadspin informs us, the team has been assembled and the “dancers,” ranging in weight from 225 to 435 pounds, are now busy with rehearsals for the 2008 Marlins season. Whelp, of all the possible things that could cure the Marlins’ attendance woes, “fat people dancing” isn’t ...