User Blog - TheHype

Here ye, here ye, the NBA Playoffs is approaching faster than your mid-life crisis. Here at BallHype we've asked some prolific NBA blogger heads to use that big brain of theirs and predict this year's incredible post-season festival known as the Playoffs.

Our first bloggers to step up to the plate are Don from With Malice and Jeff Sack from Slam Dunk Central and Le Basketbawl

Here are their Round 1 prophecies:

The Eastern Conference:

DON: 

In the East, I don’t see there being anything but blow-outs in the first round, other than Detroit/Orlando who might make a series of it. Detroit have the experience there still, and it’d be a brave soul to bet on a Magic victory here. If Jameer Nelson was aboard (kid has ice-water running in his veins), I’d be happier with the Magic-men, but if Detroit can play the basketball they’re capable of… then there’s an upset in the offing!

JEFF: 

Cleveland should have the easiest series as their front court should dominate the Bulls even with Chicago now having Brad Miller in the pivot. The key to this series though should be the back courts as Rose and Gordon have keyed this team's revival. They will be the first Playoff victims of Williams and West. Boston will show that they are ready for the second season as the dominate the Sixers. It will be a first round Bye-Bye for the once mighty Pistons against the Magic big men. D-Wade, Jermaine O'Neal, and Jamario Moon will get by the Hawks in the only first round upset in the East.

The Western Conference:

DON:

In particular, the Spurs vs Nuggets deserves to have attention drawn to it. The Nugs are an intriguing proposition for San Antonio. Young legs against old, and Chauncey Billups has the nous to put Tony Longoria in his place. I expect Carmelo Anthony to have a big series, and put some ghosts to rest with that. But perhaps the best series of the first round will be the match-up between Deron Williams & Chris Paul. Deron Williams is often called the “second best guard in the NBA” to Paul’s supremacy. D-Will will put that to rest here, and have a phenomenal series, leading Utah to a win in 5 over the Hornets.

JEFF:

The Western Conference will find lots of changes from the alignment currently in the Playoff hunt. The Lakers will find little resistance from the over-matched Jazz. Dirk Nowitzki will not be near enough to get past an aging but still potent San Antonio squad. Portland will taste first round success as they go against a Rockets team that will be without T-Mac. Chauncey Billups has been the key to the Nuggets revival, but the best pure point in the Association

SCORECARD:

Let's see what this week's good stories are about:

-- The Cowboys say bye-bye to T.O.

-- A-Rod won't be around for a while...

-- Obama likes the fresh cold taste of a brew

-- Mock draft for the NFL y'all

-- Baseball contracts that suck

-- Digger Phelps is bustin' a move

-- Players that you may or may not know that may or may not be better than you expect

-- Dodgers get a Man, a Manny

-- Rick Patino does the coolness

-- Brett Favre has like 235 stars on his eBay account

-- A freaky mutant will become your new baseball player

-- Matt Cassel's deal will involve a probe. He he he, 'probe'

-- Mickey Rourke is apparently playing hockey

-- Shaq makes the case for being a giant a-hole?

-- Shaq makes the case for being the best there ever was

-- Lou Piniella will not listen to your words

-- Don Cherry will laugh at your goofyness

We love those fun yet slightly irresponsible chaps over at College Humor. They've given us some pretty crazy pranks that took place right in the middle of big sporting events. See exhibit A:

How do you come back from that public (and it's as public as it can get) humiliation? Well, you wait over a year, and prey on greed, see the most recent exhibit B:

Replace a relationship with the thrill of money, then you pretty much have a good payback formula. Bravo to you, sir.

While those guys seem to be legit in their public mockery of each other, it reminded me of a few pranks that also took place inside a basketball venue.

Just see these two examples: 

In both cases, there's one similarity-- other than getting rejected, it's painfully funny. 

But also, it's fake. To have a mascot escort you out with a sense of irony while you wallow in depression, that can't be real, can it? Knowing the whole thing is a set up breaks the realism of it, but that doesn’t diminish the value of it. In fact, because we know it’s all make-believe, we pretty much won’t feel bad at their (fake) expense.

So the lesson to be learned here is: pranks in front of 50,000 sports fans = instant hilarity. No matter how badly hurt the victim is, it's not wrong to laugh.

In fact, I'm replaying those clips again just to have a few more chuckles.

It's that time again, to check up on the most hyped stories of the week. Today's SmorgasBlog is brought to you by the Letter D, and the number 2348247.

-- Sports Nation and Yahoo!!!!!! now conspire to grab all your blogging needs. ALL OF THEM.

-- A Top 100 prospect list of the soon-to-be-investigated-for-steroids baseball players

-- Sports Blogging Posting Ethics: Posting pictures of hot women = makes baby blogging Jesus cry.

-- He's a MAN. A basketballMAN.

-- And the Oscar goes to the dynamite!

-- I'm glad to report Hugh Jackman didn't sing an NBA trade report number

-- Who needs driving lessons when you can just skate everywhere. AmIright?

-- The rumor that is now official: Marbury and Garnett together forever

-- GOOOAAL

-- Curling is hot

-- These guys suck. Big time

-- Be it resolved that... your team is horse poo.

-- Tallest interview ever.

-- White Sox review

-- Chuck is going to be having a new fave five.

-- Where are they now?

-- NFL saying bye bye to dead weight

-- Find the year you were born and then just be depressed that you didn't achieve the glorious athletic feats these guys have

-- Hey, those two are married.

-- Who are the Pistons again?

Remember that feeling of invincibility?

When you could play basketball outdoors from two in the afternoon ‘til 11 at night and still beg your teammates to stay for one more game?

When you could keep playing ultimate frisbee even in a downpour?

When you could eat 33 hotdogs in one sitting?

Or, when you could do a simple dunk on a breakaway?

Those days are over my friend. Or should I say, Mr. T-Mac. Just the other day, Tracy McGrady was unable to finish a simple gimme shot when he couldn't take off strong enough.

It is a bit upsetting to see our childhood heroes go from this:

to blocking his own layup/failed dunk attempt.

Even the greatest of them all, in a comeback no one really wants to remember got the treatment of the cruel Time Lord.

What are we to do? Look to the youn'uns in Kevin Durant or the immortal LeBron James in hopes/awe that their internal clocks run about 1/500th second slower than the rest of us?

Or are we doomed to face the reality that the greatest of athletes are--*gasp*--human after all?

I say we look to a third alternative: denial. Just whip out the dusty VHS's and forget that T-Mac can't do a simple layup. It's carthatic is what it is. Especially with talks of him leaving Houston:

Yeah we might be satisfied in knowing our mortal limits as we age and just can't hit that corner jumper the way we used to when we were in high school. But asking us to accept the aging superstars of yesteryear? Nay!

This isn't Shawn Kemp:

.

This is:

We's baaaaaaaaaaack. More like I never really left, just been holding down other fronts (like they say right?) Anyway, let's take back a look at the hits of the week!

-- When the normal rules of left/right don't apply... go up

-- Dirty Dancing is making a huge comeback in the baseball world

-- Shaq giving it up... we'll miss his 2 months of real play...

--  The Art of Being Nice in the Sports Blog Game... BY JOVE, THE LOVE, IT'S HORRIFIC!

-- So that Brady guy, bummer.

-- Linda Cohn is giving out dates, gents

-- Baseball... soccer... ah it's about the same, might as well be from the same owners

-- Be kind to Vince Young

-- ALL HAIL THE NBA STADIUM GOD ... AND WE SHALL REPENT ON THE ONE-FIVE of SEPTEMBER

-- I knew there was some crazy reason for the Pistons' success: it's the fat

-- McNabb + Diplomatic = YAY!

-- So You Think You Can Creepy Dance As a D-League Mascot

-- Entourage and the Lakers, well, I never saw the connection...

-- Merriman is done-zo

-- Sad day for the fantasy freaks

-- Steinbrenner is the boss now, everyone got that?

Note: MJ is very hungry in this picture

Let's go some chit'in and some chat'in...

carty64 went there and made the Jared Jeffries comparison:

ethanator1088 is pardonned:

The Olympics are a short week away... do you know where your pollution mask is?

-- Ken Griffey Jr. wears White Sox now

-- Yankees just "caught" someone in time

-- Manny out of the town after a long run

-- Ron Ron, next to Yao, yes please!

-- MJ, still smacktalking, against 15 year olds...

-- Everyone, pool part-ay at Gil's place!!

-- Ohman impersonation skillz

-- Got a sports blog? Are you on this list?

-- Hey, take a picture, it last longer, ya perv

-- Carney of the NBA is now Yahoo'ed

-- Going to Europe to watch NBA stars

-- Nasty and BDiddy are like, 2gether 4eva

-- That gambling guy gets a year + in jail

-- LeBron has Obamania

-- Also: a Facebook account

Whatchutalkin' bout...

And One is p r e t t y excited...:

China's new black friend.

Digital Headbutt sees dolla dolla bills y'all:

-- So this happened!

-- Camby a Clipper, their defense is now 100% better

-- See ya Billy Parker!

-- Skeets and Oden unite, finally

-- Hornets gets pockets full of Posey

-- They said boo-runs!

-- I hope you all got drunk while watching the derby

-- This is your life, Mr. Sports Blogger

-- Josh Hamilton breaks sick record

-- Donaghy calling another ref that many times... yeah... booty call

-- J-Smoove will play for anyone... except you coach

-- Batman and the NFL, a perfect combination

-- Richie Sexson is in da house Yanks

-- Rampage Jackson gets a little lo-co?

-- Even the AP wasn't paying attention

-- Getting to the ESPY in style

Yumm..

Speakeasy...

JaketheSnake is a hungry hippo:

ummfada just wants to forget....:

- Blogs mapped by precise calculations; Darwin would totally be like, DAMN SON

-- One dunk. One life. Forever changed

-- Several years later, but the old Dan and Keith are back

-- It's the Brett Favre game, is he coming back? Guess! Anyone can play!

-- E-Brand is now a Philly-ian

-- For for ya MLB all star boys

-- Becks goooooooooals

-- Shawn Kemp Jr., yeah, his SON, is splashing big plays

-- Get Ichiro in!

-- Joel Kimmel, give him a pen and he'll make magical things happen

-- Utley and Howard is the truths

-- Fan of the week

-- Best of the best Celtics 

-- Beasley + Tats

-- Chris Duhon, this is your life

-- Mascoting is a very legitimate line of work

SAS's real face

What do YOU have to say for yourself?!...As opposed to saying something for someone else...

ethanator1088 believes in his ear drums:

chone is very patriotic:

-- Bye bye Bay Area Boom Dizzle

-- Joe Buck doesn't even know what sports are

-- There Can Only Be One....Brand Logo

-- In a world... where LeBron takes over Jersey...

-- Nothing new, nothing new, Warriors are getting nothing new...

-- McHale's legacy wll be Kevin McHale

-- An NFL player slash photog, now that's just black magic

-- Manny apologizes and gets secretary to note that down

-- But we may not see him do anything with the Sox soon

-- Kerry Wood wants you to meet his two friends

-- Spain vs. Germany, THE FINAL

-- That's one rich 16 year old

-- The one finger salute is just trendy these days

-- Beautiful song...

-- Hybrid sports stars uniting for charity

If this doesn't say Fourth Reich I dunno what does

We want your word(sss)...

The Zoner and I share similar tastes in TV shows:

ygbfkm isn't a fan of beer wasting:

-- When Kazaam goes off, this is what happens

-- A piece of Chad Ford evidence everyone can look back and make fun of him by 

-- I wish I had jheri curls... 

-- Leitch: "Once more unto the breach, dear friends..." + a dick joke in there somewhere methinks

-- Good players don't necessarily have to come in first... 

-- Soccer and basketball unite for a good cause... then they'll blow up the Moon.

-- Tee off a beer can? ppfft, how's a bout a shot glass? 

-- Sports Guy pens something in Deadspin, like.. whoa 

-- Brook Lopez's profile is going to skyrocket 

-- KG's chestpounds, the secrets revealed 

-- Todd Jones saves the day 

-- Joe Morgan says something and someone disagrees.. rinse repeat 

I don't know what other Apocalypse you're thinking of

We want your word(sss)...

Redsauce has things the Mayans don't have:

Ben Q. Rock just not seeing it:

-- Kevin Garnett, you've done it! Hip hop hooray!

-- 8-0?! That's just kicking a little kid's ice cream in his face

-- Play your own home version of: STOP SIGN PROJECTILE! Batteries not included

-- Scal really says: "shut the &*%^ up" 

-- KG is still awake. Get that man some Ambien stat 

-- Willie Randolph gets the boot 

-- J-Stu from The Daily Show chimes in 

-- Interesting questions to Jason Cambell for us to all ponder on 

-- Switch-hitter vs Switch-pitcher in minor league game. This is SO much better than Aliens vs. Predators 2

-- Slip and Slide on the field 

-- My fellow Baseballians 

-- Oh they stole a base! And by base I mean: a shit load of money

-- Baseball radio beef 

-- Parellel universes of Wheaties 

-- Jemele went a little too far, says ESPN 

-- So like, Tiger Woods is amazing