Arian Foster Will Open a Philosophy Store? (video)

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Arian Foster's Philosophy Store Coming to a Strip Mall Near You? [College Football]
Published 9/4/2008 by Clay Travis at Deadspin
I haven't made myself watch the UT-UCLA game yet. It's sitting on my DVR. I put on the pregame last night and heard Rece Davis, Lou Holtz, and Mark May talking about how many times Arian Foster would carry the ball. Holtz and May both predicted he'd get over 150 yards. They were wrong. Arian only got 96 yards. Because he was really ineffective. And by really ineffective I mean averaged 7.4 yards a carry. For some reason he only got 13 carries. But, even still, I've been getting emails asking me about Mike "Britney Spears" Patrick's line that Foster is a philosophy major who planned to open philosophy stores upon his graduation. I didn't believe ...

Mike Patrick Says Tennessee's Arian Foster Will Open A Philosophy Store
Published 9/5/2008 at FanIQ Blog
As someone with a background in journalism, I am well aware that that it isn't easy to be live on the air. You'll occasionally spit out things you know you shouldn't be saying, but you just have to roll with it because if you stop you'll be in even more trouble. Emmitt Smith knows this all too well. My guess is this is also what happens to Mike Patrick every Saturday, except he's better with the English language. Or who knows, maybe Patrick just doesn't care what the hell anyone thinks. Anyway, lost in UCLA's big win last weekend over Tennessee was this gem of a moment by Patrick ...

MIKE PATRICK’S CABINET OF WONDERS
Published 9/5/2008 by Orson Swindle at EDSBS
Can you really open a philosophy store? If so, can you buy freedom there? And shelled pecans? I love both of them a lot. What’s a basket without holes? A shitty bucket, or a just a heavy hat? Cats never fail to amaze me! They also never fail, because they never try. There’s a lesson here, and it’s that you should always mark your territory to keep things in perspective. But not in front of children. If you fold a dollar bill in half, you can see secret Masonic symbols. But if you fold a fish in half, things get messy, because it’s a fish, and not a dollar ...