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DAVID BECKHAM PUNISHES TESTICLES
With Leather - Sports news and gossip, panda sex, and the occasional Toonces the driving cat Photoshop — DC United's Luciano Emilio took this laser from David Beckham directly to the groin during the second minute of yesterday's game at RFK, leaving the forward writhing on the pitch while Becks chuckled about destroying another man's genitalia.  Which, when you think about it, is the only appropriate reaction. However, the DC trainers must have poured some magic water down Emilio's shorts, because he stayed in the game to register two goals and an assist in United's 4-1 win over the Galaxy.  Pretty impressive.  I took a point-blank shot to the groin once while I ...

Kicking It: Don’t Mess With Golden Balls
Kickette — Who knew David Beckham was so insecure about keeping his Golden Balls title? Looks like he’ll do anything to take out the competition. We particularly like his villainous grin after ending DC United’s Luciano Emilio’s ability to bear children in the future. Also attached: another reminder of the legacy Becks is so loathe to give up.  And by legacy, we mean the rather large package of magical wonder in his pants.